Sunday, November 20, 2011

I hate cell phones

why would anyone like cell phones? all it allows us to do is be in touch with people TWENTY FOUR FUCKING SEVEN. what a nuisance. Now anyone that i don't want to talk to can call me and text me at any time of day. and also, people that i DO want to text me, i feel likr i am hyper aware of them NOT contacting me when i know they have full ability to at any time of day. fuck cell phones. you know what? SCREW texting. its destroying my life.

imagine if your life was destroyed by texting. o wait you'd look exactly like me. which wouldn't be so bad since i am pretty well groomed if i do say so.

pretty great spelling abilities for someone so drunk, i'm just gonna throw that out there, based on how my grammar and spelling look through the eyes of an intoxicated asian girl.

a boo boo boo boo boo. say that out loud and then take your pants off. and then face paint your neice with a ton of clown like smiles. its ok, i promise. i wouldn't promise if ididn't mean it. i ate cheese fries tonight at F and Ms. maybe the best decision of my life. i'm just gonna put that out there and then verify that that was a true statement. again. great spelling for someone so drunk. you're welcome.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Im not in MED SCHOOL OK?

went to a med school partay tonight. got asked if i was an L-1 like 5 times. No... i'm actually not in school, and am unemployed. sooo whats up. Yeah , so I drove all my peeps home, by peeps i mean room mate cristen with her boy (who hates me btw) and then old sorority sister rochelle with her friend. yeah........... so . i think/know cristen's boy hates me bc the first time i met him i was super drunk and apparently kind of rude although to be entirely honest i think that he over reacted a little and is kind of boring so he doesnt know how to hang with me. But I gave him a ride back to my place tonight so he could shack with my girl, but as for the rest of the night we avoided eye contact. awk. maybe we can be friends if he decides to not hate me. most of my dislike from him comes from him not liking me bc i've never met anyone who doesnt like me to be honest. WHATS NOT TO LIKE?! I'M A REALLY FRIENDLY PERSON.

shit. i just realized i left my tab open at the bar we were at. ugh. gotta go back tomorrow and get that shit handled. DAMNIT. well... what can ya do.

first time ive ever done that.... shocking i did that tonight since i'm not nearly as drunk as would warrant my leaving my debit card behind. what a hasslehoff.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


right so////////// this kid , joffree, from high school who i literally never spoke to/was not friends with, i went to trivia last week with my gurl kaypee, and he was there so then he was like, omg we go to trivia every week you should come, and i kind of thought he was just being polite in the moment so i was like yeah... i'm totes there i will see you next week. but he didn't have my phone number so i figured even if he even remotely intended to invite me back he would realize he didn't have my number and give up... but turns out he looked up my phone number in our HIGH SCHOOL phone directory, btw i graduated from highscool like 5 years ago, so i don't know why he had a directory still from both 11th and 12th grade... the phone number was wrong obviously because i def changed my phone number since then, plus my house phone was listed so i think he called my mom, thank GOD she didn't pick up....

but yeah so then he left a fb message on my wall informing me of this and then told me to come to trivia. lol i thought it would be pretty douchey of me to not show up after he made such an effort so i went and of course it was the most random possible collection of people possible. as in like joffree's best friends' dad and sister (the best friend of which also went to high school with me), an indie couple that were LSU college station DJs like 7 years ago, and some other person i knew from high school's little brother plus his friend. so basically i didn't no anyone.

needless to say, i am drunk... i only had two beers and a gin and tonic, which is the real sad part because i cannot deny right now that i am unsober. i attempted ot play words with friends and gave up.. i really did try though, but i htink it would be more efficiant for me ot attempt in th emorning. also, WE WON TRIVIA!! WE GOT 1ST PLACE!!!!! to be honest its becasuse we had old people on our team,a nd also the indie couple knew all the music and obscure movie questions. typical. soooo typical.

i won a prize for getting a bonnus question right. who led athens in the pelopennession war? uh pericles, duh.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

i live the ilfe of a reject now

okay. so moving back to new orleans is a surprised of my social skills. apparently i don't know how ot talk to people. which actually isn't a surprise, its just a surprise in practive. which makes no sense. i gt drunk tongt and i came back and made muyself a glass of water for hydratiub abd then i thought. OH OK DOUBL EVIZION I AM CONSCIOUS ENOUGH OK WHY NOT. so im doing that now. while htinking about a pepperonie pizza and regreeting my decision for sleep as opposed to eating pepperoni related things. my mattrees ccame into today. to be frank its uncomfortable even though its a nice name bran dmatrees. i think th enature of a matrress is discomfort and without a mattress pad they suck. just think about what it was like as a peasant in the 1600s. a pile of hay? that shit sucks.

okaey so lets just settle this shit right now.

if you had to choose btween havign hairy legs your whole life and by hairy i mean so hairy you can;t even see your toenails becasue they;re covered in hair so then youc an't clip then until they get unsightly long.... OR would you rather poop out cheesits all day and the cheesits sang showtunes??? i don't know what i would choose, its a pretty even race there.



about th epeople.

wearing clown wigs.

and antlers.

it would be seriously insane.

but only if you replaced your eyeballs with 8 balls.

ok imagine the sushi polic was like shut up yu'er so crunk and you need raw fish

and you then would throw up raw fi=sh.

no don't let it happen tell them no and lay down the law. like professionals.
love you .


Friday, June 3, 2011

New York.... terrifying highways

My sister and brotherinlaw dragged me to some birthday party of their friends. Let me break it down for you: imagine a large photo studio loft full of 35 to 40 somethings dressed like hipsters (thick frames glasses, vintage mexican ponchos, skinny jeans with cut off leather boots.... etc.).... yeah I know, its a weird mix. So obviously I go for the free BBQ, I mean, who would pass up burgers and hot dogs besides a vegan, and who would be friends with them anyways. Honestly, they couldve been vegan hot dogs since we were in Brooklyn, but I have no idea. I began drinking because obviously i am not in this demographic (35 to 40 somethings dressed in ponchos and cut off leather boots). There was a keg, so ya know, doing it frat party style, I hit it up with my plastic cup. By the end of the party, I was a socializing machine, and by that I mean I was talking to people that I've met several times before but never made the effort to speak to because they're like 47 years old and I figured they have better things to do than talk to some 21 year old girl who looks 12. But yeah, I was a machine. And then came the drive home........

My sister was liek falling asleep at the wheel because she gets up at dawn to go to work, and my brother in law was clearly intoxicated, but claimed he could drive. And I had a few beers but don't have a clue where we're going nor know what its like at all to drive on a New York freeway. So Harry fights with cathy for a bit then gets behind the wheel... terrified. It's not that he was a bad driver (he's just a in general bad driver with a bad temper, as are all new yorkers with a car, so bad driver isn't really a classification any more, as it is a generalization), and he didn't do anything crazy behind the wheel. i was just sitting there in huge tipsy paranoia that we were going to crash at any moment. It didn't help that he stopped at a gas station before embarking on the highway and got me to buy starburst so I could unwrap them and hand them to him during the drive so he could eat them and sober up. I have no idea how starburst sobers anyone up, but whatever, we made it alive.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

chicken nuggets

**written last night on Word Document because of in-access to the internet

Blogger is down. I decided to write my entry on word right now/ and ust paste this into blogger tomorrow morning when I’m sobr. C im drunk right no.w I have my eyes closes while I’m typing rigt nowbcause ireally jut wwannt go to sleep. It feels nice to have my eyes closed. We went to wine night at th ebar where it wasonly a dolla for a glass of wine. Im redy to go to slee;-. We ate chicke nuggets from nmcdonals. Donts judhe me ok? I like chicken nuggets. Dnt justhe me I just followed my heart and it told me to get chick nuggets.

Chick. Chick chikc hic chkchichick chik.
Imagine a little chicken asking you not to kill it. That;s so sad. But I will still eat chicken nuggets. No remorse. Just a girl who loves chicken buproducts. And judging from my love of hotdogs, my love of beef byproduct too. Don’t tell anyone its embarrassing that I love hooves and jello.

Okay. G night I hate being awak right now.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

tonight iw as an actress

okay so tonight we went to screggies and it smelled liekvomit as usual. it was also kasie's birthday and I didn't plan on getting drunk but i kind of am now that you mention is. yeah. only got approached by like two guys and they both looked beyond the level of normal human comprehension and they also looked like 18. soooo that was uncomfortable. and then we got picked up by sophomore peepz and i brought down flamin buffalo ranch chips down stairs and we ate them and my mortal enemy was in the same room it was supa awk. like i was didn't want her to be there because obviously i hate her guts but at teh saeme time it was funny bc we kept accidentl dropping hints... and by accidentally i probably mean purposefully.

i hope my mortal enemy knows she's a horrible person.

if she gets bad luck and loses her pants, so be it.

ere's a new game you can try. okay . imagine this computer screen is a donkey. and then try to pin things into yoru computer screeen. okay, start the game now.


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

its cuzzzy's bday

i just spilled the cup of water i'm drinking on te floorL i'm drunk so whateber is spilled on the floor is just appepning. sooooooooo. people cam njist get over it. i'm so drunk, i can;'t dctonrl the keys. i told smeoone i'm leonardo di caprio. that i was on th etiantic. peple wo;; believe me, righyt??????????????????W

i'meatwing french fires. i can't eventupe this entryl why should i be able ti get fires?