i now have hope

for the first time in a long time
i don't hate people

and i think its because
i'm so drunk


this looks like a poem, but its not. its actually just me burping up gin and tonic. i werked it tonight to get dat free dranks. i'm all bout that free. you know how i play.

okay so today i was hit on but a red head. he was acctually extrememly unattractive. when i saw him, i was like, wow you;re sooooo not cute. buts its oaky because he bought me a drink. amd that makes the world righ.t...



and then i was the only one dancing in a lot of places. like apparently i the only one who likes dancing. who doesn't like dancing?
i feel like people are telling me the wrong things

because i'm confucius. the buddhist

cinfuscius say drink as much alcohol as you can before you kill youreslf frombeing with your family too much


confucius say fuck this.

confucius say close your eyes and count to ten

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

..... wow, everything still sucks.

confucius say you're adumb motherfucker.

love
b

louies cafe

dude. okay so as i was signing in... makes me laugh that the two choices are sign in or CREATE BLOG. lol omg so dramatic.

i put on mascara today and then before i went out i added more mascara on top of the already dry mascasa. it was a mistake. i can't really get it all off. stoopid.

ducks float on top of the water but no one calls them jesus. whats up with dat.

see you
if youre lucky

ps i put dry shampoo in my hair. but my hair is still greasy right now. i look like im a band member of nirvana

b

dance machine

so tonight was semi formal. I was sober because it was necessary for me to supervise dat shiet. It was lame bc everyone was drank and I wasn't, but I'm used to it by now to be honest. LAST SOBER EVENT OF MY LIFE! wooo. It was pretty fun actually because my date was friends with like a bunch of other people's dates, so I didn't have to be around to make sure he was having fun. Also, the DJ was surprisingly good. Props.

Then after we went to boobah's apt (lol i'm laughing right now at the name I just assigned... boobah.) and there was a dance party. And by dance party, I mean like everyone went home after about an hour and adamus was DJing and boobah and I were the only ones dancing. and by only ones, I mean we were COMPLETELY ALONE dancing. And by dancing, I mean my body was probs just spazzing out to the beat. I should probably be embarrassed but instead I'm just imagining what the scene must've looked like to an outsider and its making me laugh.


so then I left because I ended up alone and walked outside and realized I actually didn't know anyone. And it got uncomfortable. SO I left and went to Taco Bell and let me tell you, that line was RIDICULOUS. and when I say ridiculous, I mean if I were sober, I would've just left in anger, but I actually waited in the drive thru line bc I was that desperate for a taco. Well...... it was well worth it. Ijust ate TWO TACOS in my bed. yup. with fire sauce. Temped a little bit to eat the resst of the fire sauce packets by themselves as a dare for myself..... but I realize I don't need to be anymore on fiya than I already am.


BBBBAAAAAAAMMMMM, jk,

okay, would you rather have a watermelon for a dad, or sasquatch? tough choice there. I would rather have a watermelon becauase then you wouldn't have to put up with sasquatch's SHIET.


peace
b

dubstep posteponed

okay. so i am s drunk that theonly thing i tcan think right now i barabard streisadn like that song. about barabara streisand.


yeah...... she's pretty cool. i'm so thirsty for water its insnae. but water is so far away
by tehe desrets of nazarath. yeaaaah i just said that.

i drove hoome.

ir was a a foolish choice. but i mae it alive. and i'm wearing a shrit i am unfamiliar wear.
like the person who made it is probably unfamiliar with who its going to. thats how unfamiliar i am. maybe not quite as aextreme. but somewhere around there.


i didn't get raped from the distance of my parked car to the sorority house. good news.

um. and if i was raped. that shit would be so reported and a lawyer woudl be called immediately like so fast that speedy gonzales would be like WTF HAPPENED? mybe thats my gender and crime class speaking.





um. who knows what famous is what famous does. weird fragment sentences.


i'm going to be homeless probs. will you donate money to me?????

yeah.
b

put your hands in the air

that song... you knwo the one about putting yuour hands in the air and let them stay there... up down up down up down? it's fucking retarded. the first time i heard it like, ... i don't know, i just remember hearing it in someone's car and thinking, wow, this song is fucking stupid, it doesn't even rhyme. and now they're playing that shit at games, like the tiger band is playing that shit. the upside is that since this song is everywhere... bands are playing it -- like straight up bands with middle aged white men, they are learning to rap teh words of this damn song to appeal to college assholes... anyways, its fun to watch people put their hands in the air and them bob up and down like idiots.

homecoming today. we played ULM whcih was predicatbly boring. okay i'm going to play a game where i try to type in invivibsle ink and you try to figure out what it says. ready? okay:

















LOLLLLLL OKAY I DIDN'T ACTUALLY TYPE ANYTHING BUT I BET YOU FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE LOOKING FOR INVISIBLE INK LOL.'

'm so tired. i ate cane's and then walked home. my feet are killing me but at least i walked off some of that lard latching itself onto my midsection. UGH.

love yall
eat canes
and eat lard
and love the life you have
especally if there's lard in it

listening to my voice

did an interview the other day

listening to my voice on the recording right now. it sounds gay. like, does my voice REALLY sound like that on a daily basis? i am apologizing right now to everyone that has to hear my speak. so bizarre. because thats not how my voice sounds in my ears. sounds way more awesome in my brain. obviously.

roomie's 21st b day tonight. mikes was weirdly empty, except for us kind of. and kasey's dad was there. lol at that. they wouldn't let him in at first because of his visible tatoos and earring. weird. who cares. sorry, didn't realize mike's entry standards were so high.

i need to turn this interview off. I could never be a news caster. no one would hire me.

love yall.
yeah.

celebrity central

went to tsunami sushi restaurant. celebs were there. i was eating but then decided to go outside to the patio where the celsb were. cair and sara were there waiting surreptiiously outside the celeb circle debating if they should go talk to them. i said, let's go. we started walking. ,i said "hi, we just wanted to come talk to yall" and then estarted talking. jjoe jonas, ashley greene, and i think jackson rathbone (aka jasper form twilight, although at the time i had NO IDEA who he was and thought he was just a groupie friend or maybe kellen lutz... don't know what he looks like but he seemed like he might be there.... lol oh well, obviously i didn't really care about these people, just was interested in talk to them bc they're famous). hey. just being honest in the parentheses... also it appealed to me becasuse there was about 1000 people standing around them awkwardly, like looking like they were just acsually hanging out on the patio, but really they were deabting talking ot them too. SO BAM! although i feel bad fo rthe celebs bc i think after we went up to talk, other people felt encouraged to go up to them too and they started gettng harassed. o well thats what you get fot being famous.wait. LOL that joe jonas has a show call JONAS L.A.... hahaha i know you make more money than me, but thats kind of degrading. really? jonas l.a.?

anyways then we went to JL's and it wa pretty much just me and lynda. and then ash and meg showed up later bc it was ash's bday.random drama happened bc one of their friends is a butch bitch (not p.c. i know but she really is) and then later bc some guy was a rude asshole sucking his own dick. jk that wasn't happening, but he was a rude little piece of shit. tried to tell meg he was/all guys are (btw guys aren't allowed to get offended until they prove me wrong. haven't met a guy yet that hasn't been a turd) but she seemed upset. i hate people. im eating salt and vineagar pringles right now but considering canes. don't know how i'll get there but its happening somehow. about to throw up on myself if i don't eat something sustantial.

i love being not a lame person.

and by lame i don[t mean likedisabled
altho i do appreciate i'm not disabled


but i do mean for real that i'm glad i'm not a dumb azz bitach. and who know swhat that really means. i just attempted to explain it but cant so i backspaced all dat shiet.


luv yall WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO
EAT PRINGLES
AND GO GETS RAISIN CANES
AND MEET SOME CELEBS (AND BY CELEBS I MEAN MINOR B-LIST CELEBRITIES THAT CAN'T ACT OR SING!!)

finally, ashton kutcher and amanda peet

watching tv. went to fred's but now i'm home watching a movie on TBS with amanda peet and ashton kutcher. Can't remember what movie this is/i've never seen it.

we went to freds and then we went to mcdonalds and some random guy drove in the car with us. who he is i dont know.

i got a happy meal. and those fuckers didn't put a sauce in my bag, AKA I HAD TO EAT MY NUGGETS PLAIN! WTF! WELL actually there was this weird sweet n sour sauce in the kitchen from some asian place. like there were sooo many of these sauces. so i tried to use that as a substitute. and that was stupid. it was nastia.

so instead i ate my nuggets PLAIN AS OKRA (bc i usually eat okra plain)

this is a serious problem that is in the past

once in a long long long time

its recrutiment workshop week

i hate everyone
with the exepection of a few.

it was chapter night out tonight

aka i was allowed to get drunk
aka i'm nnotft for public.

why.

i am drunk
i just ate
i will still probably throw up tomorrow
i still feel sick
i threw up
and i will probably continue to do so


yo uknow what/

?



i . am. so. drunk. i just ate catfish. i'm so drunk i just ate catfish LEFTOVERS to try to make me feel better.

I'M THAT DESPERATE.

CATFISH? RIGHT???? (I MEANT TO TYPE REALLY , BUT RIGHT CAME OUT INSTEAFD)

you know what
fuck dat

dat aint shiet.

G NIGHT

hi, a lot

end of finals
drunk
no sleep
study "aids"
had about 3 drinks and i'm wassted
went to bogeimeisters and was blind sided. my entire high school was there
good thing i looked skinny from the study aids.

couldnt find my phone for a long time
walked around to a lot of places to find it
like my room, the den, the dining room, amy's car........

i must wake up tomorrow morning
i feel weird
like i feel drunk but not. like def not sober but i feel like instead of drinking and being drunk, i am just sober with a blanket of drunkness draped around me. if there's a diff.

i texted everyone in my poetry class if they wanted to hang out. no one responded so i guess that means no. so much for trying to make new friends.

i should've seen dat shiet comin

z's 21st birthdya tonight

she's perfect.
bearity is tired so i'm going to be

yall think im jokin but i'm not

also i wore an ann taylor loft shirt tonight and it was a HIT.
like smash hit
like baby one more time hit
i'm exxargerating, nothing could be that popular.

b

rood

2 much alcohol. 2 much

i wore a fake leather jacket tonight and i danced and it was too hot but i couldn't take the ajcket off because i hadnt shaved my pitz (i mean, don't judge me)

i hate sweating but it was necessary.


i want mcdonals but tthats impossible.

IMPOSSIBLE unless i drived myself aka DIED because there is NO way in hell i could maneuver an automobile.
no weigh

luv uyssszzzzz



BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

its a quarter after 1 and i need you noowoww

lo0l

went to an alternatice party tongiht. guys were more into plaid sihrts and skinny jeans than normal. and becase i didnt know anyone i chuged more alcohol so i wouldnt feel as uncomfortable.

yes.


hung out with z's firned, berry, a large black guy who had dreads. just my type of friend lol no really though
and i have a feeling i was really loud and sang a LOT in public (like a lot) but i can't remmember, i just have a feeling and you kjnow what mark twain says : feelings are jack SHIT. actually mark twain never said that i just made that up and pretended to quote mark twain so you would maybe take what i was saying more seriously, although instead of qutoing mark twain, who no one gives half a shit about, i shouldve said like obama or osama bin laden or something. too L8

luv you
miss u
rly wanna kiss
u

thru da phone

i must have the brady bunch curse on me

D-RUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK




YA TRICK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

went to mikes tonight not bad. verey fun actually. im drunk and i can already tell that my stomach doth protesteth tomorrow morn. i tried to talk to a boy tonight (so you can't say im not making an effort) and i was straight up shot down

tonight was mya's birhtday which is why we went to mikes (not usually that kind of girl) and it was "free drinks" aka cover was 10 dolla, aka a hasslehoff.

i dont know how i got this intoxicated, honestly. HONESTLY. HONEST TO GOD. GAWD.

soy bean milk? no not tonight not until i'm home. ya, soy bean milk. yucca soy beanz.

yucca soy beanz.

grreens not a good color for me

my day will come like sleeping beauty (or was that a song in snow whites?) soo tonight was kind of a stressful night because we had an exchange it may or may not have been less succssful than hoped...thats ok i think in the end we did our best and everyone that was there had a good time. but between you and me

FUCK LAMBDA CHI ALPHA.

glad i could get that off my chest. anyways, i was so stressed i pretty much drank my sorrows and i'm drunk right now. it's been an interesting night to say the least.

1. i talked to boys, of my own volition (in a desperate attempt to get those god fucking damn lambda chis to not be so anti social)
2. some dumb drunk bitch knocked over a chair that was broken (read: JAGGEDLY KNIFE LIKE) and it hit my leg/foot. I'll just say that even through my drunken state, I can feel the pain.
3. I had an in depth conversation about asian ethnicity within the greek system. like extremely in depth

my foot hurts
bitches need to watch out and stop knocking over knife chairs
i need to find the boy wearing a plaid shirt and that remembered my name. unfortunately i have no idea what his name was so that's my fault

and also, i snuck into shady's tonight without paying so that was good.

i hate lambda chi.

gemma ward, a model betrayed

just read this article on that model gemma ward, and apparently she's too fat for the modeling industry. that's a real shame because she's like 5'11 and 120 lbs...like apparently she gained 30 lbs and shes too fat now. SHIT, I'M LIKE 5'2 AND I'M DEFINITELY FATTER THAN GEMMA WARD! oh well. im sure it doesn't help that i eat shit like gumbo and fried chicken and stuff. mmm, fried.yummmmyy

so tonight we went to ellie's apartment (you know i was thinking about it and why don't i just use normal first names instead of altering them because its not like i use last names...the government would never know).... amy, lynda, kristie "the cuz", margie, and her boyfriend/our friend lex luther all gathered at ellie's apt (she was there too if you're wondering) and played card games and drank beers. they also funneled out of a flamingo funnel named fifi. yes, it's literally a flamingo with a funnel incorporated into it. i didn't funnel because i know that is a vomit session waiting to happen, but everyone else did because they love it. and then we talked about the school system and poverty by the end of the night, so you can imagine how that was....lynda and lex luther were dead asleep by 2 am. I drove us home with the exception of margie and lex luther, and now that i'm thinking of it we should've stopped to get food because i'm starving. lex luther offered to get us dates for formal, but i feel like that was just politeness, and if it was just courtesy, i am fully prepared (mentally, socially, economically, physically, psychologically....in every sense) to go alone at this point so its not big deal. also, we discovered tonight that the cuz and lex luther are on the same wavelength about a lot of things and that the vegetable game is actually a game that is really a classic.

love yall
bok choy (that's my vegetable game name...duh)

hey

hey we went to a delta chi party tonight. our sorority was supposed to have an exchange with them but they fucked up so then they felt bad and had a party and invited us to come and no one really came except a few. i mean, a good number of us went but i mean. come on. north gate tavern? considering it was open mic night didn't help because that fucking awful amateur band played over the jukebox later on in the night (hey, some advice to yall -- don't pursue a career in music because you sound like shit). then we left and went to mikes where we stood awkwardly by ourselves and then we were picked up by friends and went to mcdonalds. i paid with my card, some people gave me cash (i have 3 dollars right now from contributors) and i had a happy meal with a burger. it was good.

maybe we should hang out with delta chi more often, because they don't act too cool to say hi to us.
just a thought.

love ya
b

Too much white stripz

Yah so I did white strips tonight but i kept them in for like and hour and a half and like my bottom row of teeth are dying. everytime i toop a sip of beer i wanted to curl up into a ball and die. but its okay, i'm over it. like i can deal with this shit now. its really okay.

soooo i hate people. like i dont know why i think i like people. i seriously could live alone and not care. i mean, i usually shop alone, eat alone, sit alone in my room anyways. so whats the big deal. sometimes people just need to be a fucking lone, geez. honetly think its because i can't handle how people are. like i never knew people could be so annoying. like how they lie about shit or act around certain people. i just can't STAND people. i guess i grew up pretty much alone since my sisters graduated and lef before me, so i just was a lone or with my bff only all the time. does this sound sad or truthful? maybe both. i dont even wanna get started.

so its was pretty much a high school reunion tonight at bogies. not that i'm surprised i guess. but i pretended to be surprised and said hey anyways and then left. oh well. awk? maybe. also, my friend accidentlaly burned my hand with her god damn cigarette. ouch, like the fact that i can feel that now means i will be able to feel it fo sho tomorrow morning. hey. soooooooooooooooooo.

<( ._. )> (^._. )> (>._.)> haha its a kirby motion chart. cool huh:? not to be lame but i think its pretty cool. ps. instead of getting water in a normal sized cup i got it in a mini cup. cool huh? yeah i thought so.

love everyone.

b

also i saw sooo many people i stalk on facebook but don't actually know. i wanted to tell them i know about their lives but i refrained from being creepy, thank god.

made it alive.

drove home to the westbank bestbank and i;m still alive/not in jail so thats a good sign. went out with megan sheephard tonight which is a testament to how desperate i was to find someone to go out with me. literally haven't spoken to her since like high school (ok so i spoke to her more rcently then that, but we're not like LEGIT friends) and but i guess she's cool. she's nice, i mean, she agreed to go out with me like wtf. hahaha its not like we're bff. but anyways, it ended being a high school reunion, BIG SURPRISE.


honestly if i hadn't gone to high school with these boyz i might wanna talk to them, but its WEIRD that i went to school with them for four years and we're like not friends. haha oh well, maybe like 10 years from now at our high school reunion (like the official one, not that random shit at the bars) i will be able to talk to them and not feel awkward. or maybe it will be even more awkward. whatever i look forward to it.

megan was trying to hook up with this guy that is clearly a womanizer (we both actually know him so i'm not just being judgey) even though she was bashing him earlier. its bc she has like low self esteem or something, but actually i was wishing she would go home with him so i wouldn't have tt drive her home, but she ended up trying to be "hard to get" and went home anyways. and by home i mean i drove her to another girls house (who i also know from high school, who bleaches her hair and i totally disapprove of it because it looks fucking orange and i constantly think, uhhh has NO ONE told you it looks unattractive?)>

but i'm home now so that's cool. yaa and i even got a cup of water from downstairs to drink and i washed my face and brushed my teeth. i'm on my game, man. i even stopped drinking when i knew i needed to stop drinking. I'M THE PICTURE OF SELF CONTROL!

btwlove yall

this is me.
ya trick ya

i'm not mexican

we got cheese freies tonight but i was too drunk to realize i
m not actually hugngry................. what a wastew of cheese fries.
the plam of my hand hurts, like i've been hitting things with it. but i haven't what's up wit dat shiet.

i'm thirsty for water.




water? whater?
helllllooo???? whater??? WHAT0ER?