god grant me fucking patience

god grant me the grace to not be such a fucking impatient whore. i just don't understand t. i don;t have the pateince fo normal dating. either you like me or you don't. aka uyou ether text me or not. if you don't i interpret that as not liking. it's rpettu simple. aparentl;y its not simple though. or so they tell me.


FUCK THE RULES.


I MAKE MT OWN RULES.

RULE #1. DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB
RULE #2. IF YOU'RE IN FIGHT CLUB YOU;RE AN IDIOT, JOIN A BETTER CLUB
RULE #3. IF YOU'RE NOT TEXTING ME YOU SHOULD BE
RULE #4 BITCHES AND FUCKTARDS THAT AREN;T TEXTING ME WHOULD BE SENTENCED TO DEATH.

sentenced to death? does that sound harsh? well the punishment for being a fucking moron is pretty harsh. if the world were the way i wanted it to be everything would be perfect and i would'nt be single and angry. oh well.

 p.s. i ate chicken fingers twice today. i also ate shrimp flavored chips again.

SHRIMP CHIPS

do you evere like someone and you feel embarrrased to like them? before i contiue wiht this tipic im jus gonna say that blogger redecorted their shit and its throwing my off becaue ebring tlook so dfi=iffent okay. look i am drunk lets ot deny it. how can we interptet this. we can't its; illegibe im pretteu usure. LOOK. i might be sruk hehthsrfhOFHh;heIhkhsFHAShoahI DIBTL WRQR I QDONT KNOW, OK? Leav me the fuck alone suck my dick bitches. PL/???????? ???????? I SEE LIGHTS AND I THINK OK, I JUST ATE NO JOKE" SHRIMP FLAVORED CHIPS" THATS WHAT IT SAYS ON THE BAG. I'VE BEEN EATIN SHRIMP FLAVORED CHIPS MY WHOLE LIFE THOUGH,JUST SAYING.

taco vomit

i just ate four supreme tacos from taco bell. i wonder if i vomit right now the ground beef will even look any different?

2 Dollas 4 Hollas

*written last night on Microsoft Word at 2 AM*

Im trying to log into blogger right now but its not working. UM yeah so that's dedication. Im so fucking tired right now. But my fans were like “yo we need mre dubbel viziion.” SO I WAS LIKE OKAY WHY NOT? So here I am. On word document. And this shit keep sauto correcting my spelling. So yall will not see the original form of my typing. Im just saying its kind of good for how much ihad to drink.

Went to 2 dolla Tuesdays at bruno’s …. Yeaheverything was 2 DOLLAS. Right????????? Met up with my friend spam and hse was with all her friends. It was a sausage fest. But one with lots of fguys wearing graohic tees. Aka really not the type of person I would noramll converse with. But its nice to see how the other half lives. The other half of people that wear graphic tees.

What I want ot know…. Is why anyone wears cargo shorts. Why??? Why do you need the extre pockets???? I don’t get it. I will never get it. Someone with cargo shorts got my number. I didn’t see he was wearing cargo shorst til he got up to leave. But really. What was I supposed to say? You can’t have my number becase you’re wearing cargo shrots??? That’s just rude.

Imagine if you were wearing cargo shorts. What would YOU keep in the pockets? Me, I would put dirt in them and make them pocket gardens. One pocket would be mushrooms, the other, some sort of flower. I would be a walking, cargo short garden. And people would thank me when I went to bars and gave out fresh strawberries or cilantro. Gr8 idea, me. So there is a reason for cargo shorts after all.

I hate cell phones

why would anyone like cell phones? all it allows us to do is be in touch with people TWENTY FOUR FUCKING SEVEN. what a nuisance. Now anyone that i don't want to talk to can call me and text me at any time of day. and also, people that i DO want to text me, i feel likr i am hyper aware of them NOT contacting me when i know they have full ability to at any time of day. fuck cell phones. you know what? SCREW texting. its destroying my life.

imagine if your life was destroyed by texting. o wait you'd look exactly like me. which wouldn't be so bad since i am pretty well groomed if i do say so.

pretty great spelling abilities for someone so drunk, i'm just gonna throw that out there, based on how my grammar and spelling look through the eyes of an intoxicated asian girl.

a boo boo boo boo boo. say that out loud and then take your pants off. and then face paint your neice with a ton of clown like smiles. its ok, i promise. i wouldn't promise if ididn't mean it. i ate cheese fries tonight at F and Ms. maybe the best decision of my life. i'm just gonna put that out there and then verify that that was a true statement. again. great spelling for someone so drunk. you're welcome.

Im not in MED SCHOOL OK?

went to a med school partay tonight. got asked if i was an L-1 like 5 times. No... i'm actually not in school, and am unemployed. sooo whats up. Yeah , so I drove all my peeps home, by peeps i mean room mate cristen with her boy (who hates me btw) and then old sorority sister rochelle with her friend. yeah........... so . i think/know cristen's boy hates me bc the first time i met him i was super drunk and apparently kind of rude although to be entirely honest i think that he over reacted a little and is kind of boring so he doesnt know how to hang with me. But I gave him a ride back to my place tonight so he could shack with my girl, but as for the rest of the night we avoided eye contact. awk. maybe we can be friends if he decides to not hate me. most of my dislike from him comes from him not liking me bc i've never met anyone who doesnt like me to be honest. WHATS NOT TO LIKE?! I'M A REALLY FRIENDLY PERSON.

shit. i just realized i left my tab open at the bar we were at. ugh. gotta go back tomorrow and get that shit handled. DAMNIT. well... what can ya do.

first time ive ever done that.... shocking i did that tonight since i'm not nearly as drunk as would warrant my leaving my debit card behind. what a hasslehoff.

WE ARE NUMBER ONE. NUMERO UNO OK?

right so////////// this kid , joffree, from high school who i literally never spoke to/was not friends with, i went to trivia last week with my gurl kaypee, and he was there so then he was like, omg we go to trivia every week you should come, and i kind of thought he was just being polite in the moment so i was like yeah... i'm totes there i will see you next week. but he didn't have my phone number so i figured even if he even remotely intended to invite me back he would realize he didn't have my number and give up... but turns out he looked up my phone number in our HIGH SCHOOL phone directory, btw i graduated from highscool like 5 years ago, so i don't know why he had a directory still from both 11th and 12th grade... the phone number was wrong obviously because i def changed my phone number since then, plus my house phone was listed so i think he called my mom, thank GOD she didn't pick up....

but yeah so then he left a fb message on my wall informing me of this and then told me to come to trivia. lol i thought it would be pretty douchey of me to not show up after he made such an effort so i went and of course it was the most random possible collection of people possible. as in like joffree's best friends' dad and sister (the best friend of which also went to high school with me), an indie couple that were LSU college station DJs like 7 years ago, and some other person i knew from high school's little brother plus his friend. so basically i didn't no anyone.

needless to say, i am drunk... i only had two beers and a gin and tonic, which is the real sad part because i cannot deny right now that i am unsober. i attempted ot play words with friends and gave up.. i really did try though, but i htink it would be more efficiant for me ot attempt in th emorning. also, WE WON TRIVIA!! WE GOT 1ST PLACE!!!!! to be honest its becasuse we had old people on our team,a nd also the indie couple knew all the music and obscure movie questions. typical. soooo typical.

i won a prize for getting a bonnus question right. who led athens in the pelopennession war? uh pericles, duh.