tonight iw as an actress

okay so tonight we went to screggies and it smelled liekvomit as usual. it was also kasie's birthday and I didn't plan on getting drunk but i kind of am now that you mention is. yeah. only got approached by like two guys and they both looked beyond the level of normal human comprehension and they also looked like 18. soooo that was uncomfortable. and then we got picked up by sophomore peepz and i brought down flamin buffalo ranch chips down stairs and we ate them and my mortal enemy was in the same room it was supa awk. like i was didn't want her to be there because obviously i hate her guts but at teh saeme time it was funny bc we kept accidentl dropping hints... and by accidentally i probably mean purposefully.

i hope my mortal enemy knows she's a horrible person.

if she gets bad luck and loses her pants, so be it.


ere's a new game you can try. okay . imagine this computer screen is a donkey. and then try to pin things into yoru computer screeen. okay, start the game now.






















LOL SUCKER YOU JUST BROKE YOUR COMPUTER HUH. OOLOLOLLOLOLOL SUX 4 U.
B.

its cuzzzy's bday

i just spilled the cup of water i'm drinking on te floorL i'm drunk so whateber is spilled on the floor is just appepning. sooooooooo. people cam njist get over it. i'm so drunk, i can;'t dctonrl the keys. i told smeoone i'm leonardo di caprio. that i was on th etiantic. peple wo;; believe me, righyt??????????????????W


i'meatwing french fires. i can't eventupe this entryl why should i be able ti get fires?
druhk==-.,



mess.




b

i now have hope

for the first time in a long time
i don't hate people

and i think its because
i'm so drunk


this looks like a poem, but its not. its actually just me burping up gin and tonic. i werked it tonight to get dat free dranks. i'm all bout that free. you know how i play.

okay so today i was hit on but a red head. he was acctually extrememly unattractive. when i saw him, i was like, wow you;re sooooo not cute. buts its oaky because he bought me a drink. amd that makes the world righ.t...



and then i was the only one dancing in a lot of places. like apparently i the only one who likes dancing. who doesn't like dancing?
i feel like people are telling me the wrong things

because i'm confucius. the buddhist

cinfuscius say drink as much alcohol as you can before you kill youreslf frombeing with your family too much


confucius say fuck this.

confucius say close your eyes and count to ten

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

..... wow, everything still sucks.

confucius say you're adumb motherfucker.

love
b

louies cafe

dude. okay so as i was signing in... makes me laugh that the two choices are sign in or CREATE BLOG. lol omg so dramatic.

i put on mascara today and then before i went out i added more mascara on top of the already dry mascasa. it was a mistake. i can't really get it all off. stoopid.

ducks float on top of the water but no one calls them jesus. whats up with dat.

see you
if youre lucky

ps i put dry shampoo in my hair. but my hair is still greasy right now. i look like im a band member of nirvana

b

dance machine

so tonight was semi formal. I was sober because it was necessary for me to supervise dat shiet. It was lame bc everyone was drank and I wasn't, but I'm used to it by now to be honest. LAST SOBER EVENT OF MY LIFE! wooo. It was pretty fun actually because my date was friends with like a bunch of other people's dates, so I didn't have to be around to make sure he was having fun. Also, the DJ was surprisingly good. Props.

Then after we went to boobah's apt (lol i'm laughing right now at the name I just assigned... boobah.) and there was a dance party. And by dance party, I mean like everyone went home after about an hour and adamus was DJing and boobah and I were the only ones dancing. and by only ones, I mean we were COMPLETELY ALONE dancing. And by dancing, I mean my body was probs just spazzing out to the beat. I should probably be embarrassed but instead I'm just imagining what the scene must've looked like to an outsider and its making me laugh.


so then I left because I ended up alone and walked outside and realized I actually didn't know anyone. And it got uncomfortable. SO I left and went to Taco Bell and let me tell you, that line was RIDICULOUS. and when I say ridiculous, I mean if I were sober, I would've just left in anger, but I actually waited in the drive thru line bc I was that desperate for a taco. Well...... it was well worth it. Ijust ate TWO TACOS in my bed. yup. with fire sauce. Temped a little bit to eat the resst of the fire sauce packets by themselves as a dare for myself..... but I realize I don't need to be anymore on fiya than I already am.


BBBBAAAAAAAMMMMM, jk,

okay, would you rather have a watermelon for a dad, or sasquatch? tough choice there. I would rather have a watermelon becauase then you wouldn't have to put up with sasquatch's SHIET.


peace
b

dubstep posteponed

okay. so i am s drunk that theonly thing i tcan think right now i barabard streisadn like that song. about barabara streisand.


yeah...... she's pretty cool. i'm so thirsty for water its insnae. but water is so far away
by tehe desrets of nazarath. yeaaaah i just said that.

i drove hoome.

ir was a a foolish choice. but i mae it alive. and i'm wearing a shrit i am unfamiliar wear.
like the person who made it is probably unfamiliar with who its going to. thats how unfamiliar i am. maybe not quite as aextreme. but somewhere around there.


i didn't get raped from the distance of my parked car to the sorority house. good news.

um. and if i was raped. that shit would be so reported and a lawyer woudl be called immediately like so fast that speedy gonzales would be like WTF HAPPENED? mybe thats my gender and crime class speaking.





um. who knows what famous is what famous does. weird fragment sentences.


i'm going to be homeless probs. will you donate money to me?????

yeah.
b

put your hands in the air

that song... you knwo the one about putting yuour hands in the air and let them stay there... up down up down up down? it's fucking retarded. the first time i heard it like, ... i don't know, i just remember hearing it in someone's car and thinking, wow, this song is fucking stupid, it doesn't even rhyme. and now they're playing that shit at games, like the tiger band is playing that shit. the upside is that since this song is everywhere... bands are playing it -- like straight up bands with middle aged white men, they are learning to rap teh words of this damn song to appeal to college assholes... anyways, its fun to watch people put their hands in the air and them bob up and down like idiots.

homecoming today. we played ULM whcih was predicatbly boring. okay i'm going to play a game where i try to type in invivibsle ink and you try to figure out what it says. ready? okay:

















LOLLLLLL OKAY I DIDN'T ACTUALLY TYPE ANYTHING BUT I BET YOU FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE LOOKING FOR INVISIBLE INK LOL.'

'm so tired. i ate cane's and then walked home. my feet are killing me but at least i walked off some of that lard latching itself onto my midsection. UGH.

love yall
eat canes
and eat lard
and love the life you have
especally if there's lard in it