double vizion

I hate cell phones

2011-11-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

why would anyone like cell phones? all it allows us to do is be in touch with people TWENTY FOUR FUCKING SEVEN. what a nuisance. Now anyone that i don't want to talk to can call me and text me at any time of day. and also, people that i DO want to text me, i feel likr i am hyper aware of them NOT contacting me when i know they have full ability to at any time of day. fuck cell phones. you know what? SCREW texting. its destroying my life.

imagine if your life was destroyed by texting. o wait you'd look exactly like me. which wouldn't be so bad since i am pretty well groomed if i do say so.

pretty great spelling abilities for someone so drunk, i'm just gonna throw that out there, based on how my grammar and spelling look through the eyes of an intoxicated asian girl.

a boo boo boo boo boo. say that out loud and then take your pants off. and then face paint your neice with a ton of clown like smiles. its ok, i promise. i wouldn't promise if ididn't mean it. i ate cheese fries tonight at F and Ms. maybe the best decision of my life. i'm just gonna put that out there and then verify that that was a true statement. again. great spelling for someone so drunk. you're welcome.

Im not in MED SCHOOL OK?

2011-09-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

went to a med school partay tonight. got asked if i was an L-1 like 5 times. No... i'm actually not in school, and am unemployed. sooo whats up. Yeah , so I drove all my peeps home, by peeps i mean room mate cristen with her boy (who hates me btw) and then old sorority sister rochelle with her friend. yeah........... so . i think/know cristen's boy hates me bc the first time i met him i was super drunk and apparently kind of rude although to be entirely honest i think that he over reacted a little and is kind of boring so he doesnt know how to hang with me. But I gave him a ride back to my place tonight so he could shack with my girl, but as for the rest of the night we avoided eye contact. awk. maybe we can be friends if he decides to not hate me. most of my dislike from him comes from him not liking me bc i've never met anyone who doesnt like me to be honest. WHATS NOT TO LIKE?! I'M A REALLY FRIENDLY PERSON.

shit. i just realized i left my tab open at the bar we were at. ugh. gotta go back tomorrow and get that shit handled. DAMNIT. well... what can ya do.

first time ive ever done that.... shocking i did that tonight since i'm not nearly as drunk as would warrant my leaving my debit card behind. what a hasslehoff.

WE ARE NUMBER ONE. NUMERO UNO OK?

2011-09-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

right so////////// this kid , joffree, from high school who i literally never spoke to/was not friends with, i went to trivia last week with my gurl kaypee, and he was there so then he was like, omg we go to trivia every week you should come, and i kind of thought he was just being polite in the moment so i was like yeah... i'm totes there i will see you next week. but he didn't have my phone number so i figured even if he even remotely intended to invite me back he would realize he didn't have my number and give up... but turns out he looked up my phone number in our HIGH SCHOOL phone directory, btw i graduated from highscool like 5 years ago, so i don't know why he had a directory still from both 11th and 12th grade... the phone number was wrong obviously because i def changed my phone number since then, plus my house phone was listed so i think he called my mom, thank GOD she didn't pick up....

but yeah so then he left a fb message on my wall informing me of this and then told me to come to trivia. lol i thought it would be pretty douchey of me to not show up after he made such an effort so i went and of course it was the most random possible collection of people possible. as in like joffree's best friends' dad and sister (the best friend of which also went to high school with me), an indie couple that were LSU college station DJs like 7 years ago, and some other person i knew from high school's little brother plus his friend. so basically i didn't no anyone.

needless to say, i am drunk... i only had two beers and a gin and tonic, which is the real sad part because i cannot deny right now that i am unsober. i attempted ot play words with friends and gave up.. i really did try though, but i htink it would be more efficiant for me ot attempt in th emorning. also, WE WON TRIVIA!! WE GOT 1ST PLACE!!!!! to be honest its becasuse we had old people on our team,a nd also the indie couple knew all the music and obscure movie questions. typical. soooo typical.

i won a prize for getting a bonnus question right. who led athens in the pelopennession war? uh pericles, duh.

i live the ilfe of a reject now

2011-09-11T01:02:00.000-07:00

okay. so moving back to new orleans is a surprised of my social skills. apparently i don't know how ot talk to people. which actually isn't a surprise, its just a surprise in practive. which makes no sense. i gt drunk tongt and i came back and made muyself a glass of water for hydratiub abd then i thought. OH OK DOUBL EVIZION I AM CONSCIOUS ENOUGH OK WHY NOT. so im doing that now. while htinking about a pepperonie pizza and regreeting my decision for sleep as opposed to eating pepperoni related things. my mattrees ccame into today. to be frank its uncomfortable even though its a nice name bran dmatrees. i think th enature of a matrress is discomfort and without a mattress pad they suck. just think about what it was like as a peasant in the 1600s. a pile of hay? that shit sucks.

okaey so lets just settle this shit right now.

if you had to choose btween havign hairy legs your whole life and by hairy i mean so hairy you can;t even see your toenails becasue they;re covered in hair so then youc an't clip then until they get unsightly long.... OR would you rather poop out cheesits all day and the cheesits sang showtunes??? i don't know what i would choose, its a pretty even race there.

hey.

imagine.

about th epeople.

wearing clown wigs.

and antlers.

it would be seriously insane.

but only if you replaced your eyeballs with 8 balls.

ok imagine the sushi polic was like shut up yu'er so crunk and you need raw fish

and you then would throw up raw fi=sh.

no don't let it happen tell them no and lay down the law. like professionals.
love you .

b

New York.... terrifying highways

2011-06-03T22:01:00.001-07:00

My sister and brotherinlaw dragged me to some birthday party of their friends. Let me break it down for you: imagine a large photo studio loft full of 35 to 40 somethings dressed like hipsters (thick frames glasses, vintage mexican ponchos, skinny jeans with cut off leather boots.... etc.).... yeah I know, its a weird mix. So obviously I go for the free BBQ, I mean, who would pass up burgers and hot dogs besides a vegan, and who would be friends with them anyways. Honestly, they couldve been vegan hot dogs since we were in Brooklyn, but I have no idea. I began drinking because obviously i am not in this demographic (35 to 40 somethings dressed in ponchos and cut off leather boots). There was a keg, so ya know, doing it frat party style, I hit it up with my plastic cup. By the end of the party, I was a socializing machine, and by that I mean I was talking to people that I've met several times before but never made the effort to speak to because they're like 47 years old and I figured they have better things to do than talk to some 21 year old girl who looks 12. But yeah, I was a machine. And then came the drive home........

My sister was liek falling asleep at the wheel because she gets up at dawn to go to work, and my brother in law was clearly intoxicated, but claimed he could drive. And I had a few beers but don't have a clue where we're going nor know what its like at all to drive on a New York freeway. So Harry fights with cathy for a bit then gets behind the wheel... terrified. It's not that he was a bad driver (he's just a in general bad driver with a bad temper, as are all new yorkers with a car, so bad driver isn't really a classification any more, as it is a generalization), and he didn't do anything crazy behind the wheel. i was just sitting there in huge tipsy paranoia that we were going to crash at any moment. It didn't help that he stopped at a gas station before embarking on the highway and got me to buy starburst so I could unwrap them and hand them to him during the drive so he could eat them and sober up. I have no idea how starburst sobers anyone up, but whatever, we made it alive.

chicken nuggets

2011-04-06T11:35:00.001-07:00

**written last night on Word Document because of in-access to the internet

Blogger is down. I decided to write my entry on word right now/ and ust paste this into blogger tomorrow morning when I’m sobr. C im drunk right no.w I have my eyes closes while I’m typing rigt nowbcause ireally jut wwannt go to sleep. It feels nice to have my eyes closed. We went to wine night at th ebar where it wasonly a dolla for a glass of wine. Im redy to go to slee;-. We ate chicke nuggets from nmcdonals. Donts judhe me ok? I like chicken nuggets. Dnt justhe me I just followed my heart and it told me to get chick nuggets.

Chick. Chick chikc hic chkchichick chik.
Imagine a little chicken asking you not to kill it. That;s so sad. But I will still eat chicken nuggets. No remorse. Just a girl who loves chicken buproducts. And judging from my love of hotdogs, my love of beef byproduct too. Don’t tell anyone its embarrassing that I love hooves and jello.

Okay. G night I hate being awak right now.

tonight iw as an actress

2011-03-03T00:15:00.000-08:00

okay so tonight we went to screggies and it smelled liekvomit as usual. it was also kasie's birthday and I didn't plan on getting drunk but i kind of am now that you mention is. yeah. only got approached by like two guys and they both looked beyond the level of normal human comprehension and they also looked like 18. soooo that was uncomfortable. and then we got picked up by sophomore peepz and i brought down flamin buffalo ranch chips down stairs and we ate them and my mortal enemy was in the same room it was supa awk. like i was didn't want her to be there because obviously i hate her guts but at teh saeme time it was funny bc we kept accidentl dropping hints... and by accidentally i probably mean purposefully.

i hope my mortal enemy knows she's a horrible person.

if she gets bad luck and loses her pants, so be it.

ere's a new game you can try. okay . imagine this computer screen is a donkey. and then try to pin things into yoru computer screeen. okay, start the game now.

LOL SUCKER YOU JUST BROKE YOUR COMPUTER HUH. OOLOLOLLOLOLOL SUX 4 U.
B.

its cuzzzy's bday

2011-03-01T23:54:00.001-08:00

i just spilled the cup of water i'm drinking on te floorL i'm drunk so whateber is spilled on the floor is just appepning. sooooooooo. people cam njist get over it. i'm so drunk, i can;'t dctonrl the keys. i told smeoone i'm leonardo di caprio. that i was on th etiantic. peple wo;; believe me, righyt??????????????????W

i'meatwing french fires. i can't eventupe this entryl why should i be able ti get fires?
druhk==-.,

mess.

b

i now have hope

2010-12-29T00:31:00.000-08:00

for the first time in a long time
i don't hate people

and i think its because
i'm so drunk

this looks like a poem, but its not. its actually just me burping up gin and tonic. i werked it tonight to get dat free dranks. i'm all bout that free. you know how i play.

okay so today i was hit on but a red head. he was acctually extrememly unattractive. when i saw him, i was like, wow you;re sooooo not cute. buts its oaky because he bought me a drink. amd that makes the world righ.t...

and then i was the only one dancing in a lot of places. like apparently i the only one who likes dancing. who doesn't like dancing?
i feel like people are telling me the wrong things

because i'm confucius. the buddhist

cinfuscius say drink as much alcohol as you can before you kill youreslf frombeing with your family too much

confucius say fuck this.

confucius say close your eyes and count to ten

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

..... wow, everything still sucks.

confucius say you're adumb motherfucker.

love
b

louies cafe

2010-11-24T03:27:00.000-08:00

dude. okay so as i was signing in... makes me laugh that the two choices are sign in or CREATE BLOG. lol omg so dramatic.

i put on mascara today and then before i went out i added more mascara on top of the already dry mascasa. it was a mistake. i can't really get it all off. stoopid.

ducks float on top of the water but no one calls them jesus. whats up with dat.

see you
if youre lucky

ps i put dry shampoo in my hair. but my hair is still greasy right now. i look like im a band member of nirvana

b

dance machine

2010-11-20T01:18:00.001-08:00

so tonight was semi formal. I was sober because it was necessary for me to supervise dat shiet. It was lame bc everyone was drank and I wasn't, but I'm used to it by now to be honest. LAST SOBER EVENT OF MY LIFE! wooo. It was pretty fun actually because my date was friends with like a bunch of other people's dates, so I didn't have to be around to make sure he was having fun. Also, the DJ was surprisingly good. Props.

Then after we went to boobah's apt (lol i'm laughing right now at the name I just assigned... boobah.) and there was a dance party. And by dance party, I mean like everyone went home after about an hour and adamus was DJing and boobah and I were the only ones dancing. and by only ones, I mean we were COMPLETELY ALONE dancing. And by dancing, I mean my body was probs just spazzing out to the beat. I should probably be embarrassed but instead I'm just imagining what the scene must've looked like to an outsider and its making me laugh.

so then I left because I ended up alone and walked outside and realized I actually didn't know anyone. And it got uncomfortable. SO I left and went to Taco Bell and let me tell you, that line was RIDICULOUS. and when I say ridiculous, I mean if I were sober, I would've just left in anger, but I actually waited in the drive thru line bc I was that desperate for a taco. Well...... it was well worth it. Ijust ate TWO TACOS in my bed. yup. with fire sauce. Temped a little bit to eat the resst of the fire sauce packets by themselves as a dare for myself..... but I realize I don't need to be anymore on fiya than I already am.

BBBBAAAAAAAMMMMM, jk,

okay, would you rather have a watermelon for a dad, or sasquatch? tough choice there. I would rather have a watermelon becauase then you wouldn't have to put up with sasquatch's SHIET.

peace
b

dubstep posteponed

2010-11-18T01:38:00.000-08:00

okay. so i am s drunk that theonly thing i tcan think right now i barabard streisadn like that song. about barabara streisand.

yeah...... she's pretty cool. i'm so thirsty for water its insnae. but water is so far away
by tehe desrets of nazarath. yeaaaah i just said that.

i drove hoome.

ir was a a foolish choice. but i mae it alive. and i'm wearing a shrit i am unfamiliar wear.
like the person who made it is probably unfamiliar with who its going to. thats how unfamiliar i am. maybe not quite as aextreme. but somewhere around there.

i didn't get raped from the distance of my parked car to the sorority house. good news.

um. and if i was raped. that shit would be so reported and a lawyer woudl be called immediately like so fast that speedy gonzales would be like WTF HAPPENED? mybe thats my gender and crime class speaking.

um. who knows what famous is what famous does. weird fragment sentences.

i'm going to be homeless probs. will you donate money to me?????

yeah.
b

put your hands in the air

2010-11-13T23:56:00.000-08:00

that song... you knwo the one about putting yuour hands in the air and let them stay there... up down up down up down? it's fucking retarded. the first time i heard it like, ... i don't know, i just remember hearing it in someone's car and thinking, wow, this song is fucking stupid, it doesn't even rhyme. and now they're playing that shit at games, like the tiger band is playing that shit. the upside is that since this song is everywhere... bands are playing it -- like straight up bands with middle aged white men, they are learning to rap teh words of this damn song to appeal to college assholes... anyways, its fun to watch people put their hands in the air and them bob up and down like idiots.

homecoming today. we played ULM whcih was predicatbly boring. okay i'm going to play a game where i try to type in invivibsle ink and you try to figure out what it says. ready? okay:

LOLLLLLL OKAY I DIDN'T ACTUALLY TYPE ANYTHING BUT I BET YOU FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE LOOKING FOR INVISIBLE INK LOL.'

'm so tired. i ate cane's and then walked home. my feet are killing me but at least i walked off some of that lard latching itself onto my midsection. UGH.

love yall
eat canes
and eat lard
and love the life you have
especally if there's lard in it

listening to my voice

2010-10-28T00:50:00.001-07:00

did an interview the other day

listening to my voice on the recording right now. it sounds gay. like, does my voice REALLY sound like that on a daily basis? i am apologizing right now to everyone that has to hear my speak. so bizarre. because thats not how my voice sounds in my ears. sounds way more awesome in my brain. obviously.

roomie's 21st b day tonight. mikes was weirdly empty, except for us kind of. and kasey's dad was there. lol at that. they wouldn't let him in at first because of his visible tatoos and earring. weird. who cares. sorry, didn't realize mike's entry standards were so high.

i need to turn this interview off. I could never be a news caster. no one would hire me.

love yall.
yeah.

celebrity central

2010-10-20T00:20:00.001-07:00

went to tsunami sushi restaurant. celebs were there. i was eating but then decided to go outside to the patio where the celsb were. cair and sara were there waiting surreptiiously outside the celeb circle debating if they should go talk to them. i said, let's go. we started walking. ,i said "hi, we just wanted to come talk to yall" and then estarted talking. jjoe jonas, ashley greene, and i think jackson rathbone (aka jasper form twilight, although at the time i had NO IDEA who he was and thought he was just a groupie friend or maybe kellen lutz... don't know what he looks like but he seemed like he might be there.... lol oh well, obviously i didn't really care about these people, just was interested in talk to them bc they're famous). hey. just being honest in the parentheses... also it appealed to me becasuse there was about 1000 people standing around them awkwardly, like looking like they were just acsually hanging out on the patio, but really they were deabting talking ot them too. SO BAM! although i feel bad fo rthe celebs bc i think after we went up to talk, other people felt encouraged to go up to them too and they started gettng harassed. o well thats what you get fot being famous.wait. LOL that joe jonas has a show call JONAS L.A.... hahaha i know you make more money than me, but thats kind of degrading. really? jonas l.a.?

anyways then we went to JL's and it wa pretty much just me and lynda. and then ash and meg showed up later bc it was ash's bday.random drama happened bc one of their friends is a butch bitch (not p.c. i know but she really is) and then later bc some guy was a rude asshole sucking his own dick. jk that wasn't happening, but he was a rude little piece of shit. tried to tell meg he was/all guys are (btw guys aren't allowed to get offended until they prove me wrong. haven't met a guy yet that hasn't been a turd) but she seemed upset. i hate people. im eating salt and vineagar pringles right now but considering canes. don't know how i'll get there but its happening somehow. about to throw up on myself if i don't eat something sustantial.

i love being not a lame person.

and by lame i don[t mean likedisabled
altho i do appreciate i'm not disabled

but i do mean for real that i'm glad i'm not a dumb azz bitach. and who know swhat that really means. i just attempted to explain it but cant so i backspaced all dat shiet.

luv yall WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO
EAT PRINGLES
AND GO GETS RAISIN CANES
AND MEET SOME CELEBS (AND BY CELEBS I MEAN MINOR B-LIST CELEBRITIES THAT CAN'T ACT OR SING!!)

finally, ashton kutcher and amanda peet

2010-09-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

watching tv. went to fred's but now i'm home watching a movie on TBS with amanda peet and ashton kutcher. Can't remember what movie this is/i've never seen it.

we went to freds and then we went to mcdonalds and some random guy drove in the car with us. who he is i dont know.

i got a happy meal. and those fuckers didn't put a sauce in my bag, AKA I HAD TO EAT MY NUGGETS PLAIN! WTF! WELL actually there was this weird sweet n sour sauce in the kitchen from some asian place. like there were sooo many of these sauces. so i tried to use that as a substitute. and that was stupid. it was nastia.

so instead i ate my nuggets PLAIN AS OKRA (bc i usually eat okra plain)

this is a serious problem that is in the past

once in a long long long time

2010-08-10T23:47:00.001-07:00

its recrutiment workshop week

i hate everyone
with the exepection of a few.

it was chapter night out tonight

aka i was allowed to get drunk
aka i'm nnotft for public.

why.

i am drunk
i just ate
i will still probably throw up tomorrow
i still feel sick
i threw up
and i will probably continue to do so

yo uknow what/

?

i . am. so. drunk. i just ate catfish. i'm so drunk i just ate catfish LEFTOVERS to try to make me feel better.

I'M THAT DESPERATE.

CATFISH? RIGHT???? (I MEANT TO TYPE REALLY , BUT RIGHT CAME OUT INSTEAFD)

you know what
fuck dat

dat aint shiet.

G NIGHT

hi, a lot

2010-05-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

end of finals
drunk
no sleep
study "aids"
had about 3 drinks and i'm wassted
went to bogeimeisters and was blind sided. my entire high school was there
good thing i looked skinny from the study aids.

couldnt find my phone for a long time
walked around to a lot of places to find it
like my room, the den, the dining room, amy's car........

i must wake up tomorrow morning
i feel weird
like i feel drunk but not. like def not sober but i feel like instead of drinking and being drunk, i am just sober with a blanket of drunkness draped around me. if there's a diff.

i texted everyone in my poetry class if they wanted to hang out. no one responded so i guess that means no. so much for trying to make new friends.

i should've seen dat shiet comin

z's 21st birthdya tonight

she's perfect.
bearity is tired so i'm going to be

yall think im jokin but i'm not

also i wore an ann taylor loft shirt tonight and it was a HIT.
like smash hit
like baby one more time hit
i'm exxargerating, nothing could be that popular.

b

rood

2010-03-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

2 much alcohol. 2 much

i wore a fake leather jacket tonight and i danced and it was too hot but i couldn't take the ajcket off because i hadnt shaved my pitz (i mean, don't judge me)

i hate sweating but it was necessary.

i want mcdonals but tthats impossible.

IMPOSSIBLE unless i drived myself aka DIED because there is NO way in hell i could maneuver an automobile.
no weigh

luv uyssszzzzz

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

its a quarter after 1 and i need you noowoww

2010-02-28T01:12:00.000-08:00

lo0l

went to an alternatice party tongiht. guys were more into plaid sihrts and skinny jeans than normal. and becase i didnt know anyone i chuged more alcohol so i wouldnt feel as uncomfortable.

yes.

hung out with z's firned, berry, a large black guy who had dreads. just my type of friend lol no really though
and i have a feeling i was really loud and sang a LOT in public (like a lot) but i can't remmember, i just have a feeling and you kjnow what mark twain says : feelings are jack SHIT. actually mark twain never said that i just made that up and pretended to quote mark twain so you would maybe take what i was saying more seriously, although instead of qutoing mark twain, who no one gives half a shit about, i shouldve said like obama or osama bin laden or something. too L8

luv you
miss u
rly wanna kiss
u

thru da phone

i must have the brady bunch curse on me

2010-02-21T00:50:00.001-08:00

D-RUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

YA TRICK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

went to mikes tonight not bad. verey fun actually. im drunk and i can already tell that my stomach doth protesteth tomorrow morn. i tried to talk to a boy tonight (so you can't say im not making an effort) and i was straight up shot down

tonight was mya's birhtday which is why we went to mikes (not usually that kind of girl) and it was "free drinks" aka cover was 10 dolla, aka a hasslehoff.

i dont know how i got this intoxicated, honestly. HONESTLY. HONEST TO GOD. GAWD.

soy bean milk? no not tonight not until i'm home. ya, soy bean milk. yucca soy beanz.

yucca soy beanz.

grreens not a good color for me

2010-02-19T01:22:00.000-08:00

jealous that bitchy girls score the cute boys. but that's okay because i usually just assume i'm better than everyone else (as in the female population) so it doesn't really bother me bc its not a amatter of that they're better than me, its just a matter of why the fuck am I still being overlooked? its okay, my day will come like sleeping beauty (or was that a song in snow whites?) soo tonight was kind of a stressful night because we had an exchange it may or may not have been less succssful than hoped...thats ok i think in the end we did our best and everyone that was there had a good time. but between you and me

FUCK LAMBDA CHI ALPHA.

glad i could get that off my chest. anyways, i was so stressed i pretty much drank my sorrows and i'm drunk right now. it's been an interesting night to say the least.

1. i talked to boys, of my own volition (in a desperate attempt to get those god fucking damn lambda chis to not be so anti social)
2. some dumb drunk bitch knocked over a chair that was broken (read: JAGGEDLY KNIFE LIKE) and it hit my leg/foot. I'll just say that even through my drunken state, I can feel the pain.
3. I had an in depth conversation about asian ethnicity within the greek system. like extremely in depth

my foot hurts
bitches need to watch out and stop knocking over knife chairs
i need to find the boy wearing a plaid shirt and that remembered my name. unfortunately i have no idea what his name was so that's my fault

and also, i snuck into shady's tonight without paying so that was good.

i hate lambda chi.

gemma ward, a model betrayed

2010-02-12T01:08:00.000-08:00

just read this article on that model gemma ward, and apparently she's too fat for the modeling industry. that's a real shame because she's like 5'11 and 120 lbs...like apparently she gained 30 lbs and shes too fat now. SHIT, I'M LIKE 5'2 AND I'M DEFINITELY FATTER THAN GEMMA WARD! oh well. im sure it doesn't help that i eat shit like gumbo and fried chicken and stuff. mmm, fried.yummmmyy

so tonight we went to ellie's apartment (you know i was thinking about it and why don't i just use normal first names instead of altering them because its not like i use last names...the government would never know).... amy, lynda, kristie "the cuz", margie, and her boyfriend/our friend lex luther all gathered at ellie's apt (she was there too if you're wondering) and played card games and drank beers. they also funneled out of a flamingo funnel named fifi. yes, it's literally a flamingo with a funnel incorporated into it. i didn't funnel because i know that is a vomit session waiting to happen, but everyone else did because they love it. and then we talked about the school system and poverty by the end of the night, so you can imagine how that was....lynda and lex luther were dead asleep by 2 am. I drove us home with the exception of margie and lex luther, and now that i'm thinking of it we should've stopped to get food because i'm starving. lex luther offered to get us dates for formal, but i feel like that was just politeness, and if it was just courtesy, i am fully prepared (mentally, socially, economically, physically, psychologically....in every sense) to go alone at this point so its not big deal. also, we discovered tonight that the cuz and lex luther are on the same wavelength about a lot of things and that the vegetable game is actually a game that is really a classic.

love yall
bok choy (that's my vegetable game name...duh)

hey

2010-02-03T22:45:00.000-08:00

hey we went to a delta chi party tonight. our sorority was supposed to have an exchange with them but they fucked up so then they felt bad and had a party and invited us to come and no one really came except a few. i mean, a good number of us went but i mean. come on. north gate tavern? considering it was open mic night didn't help because that fucking awful amateur band played over the jukebox later on in the night (hey, some advice to yall -- don't pursue a career in music because you sound like shit). then we left and went to mikes where we stood awkwardly by ourselves and then we were picked up by friends and went to mcdonalds. i paid with my card, some people gave me cash (i have 3 dollars right now from contributors) and i had a happy meal with a burger. it was good.

maybe we should hang out with delta chi more often, because they don't act too cool to say hi to us.
just a thought.

love ya
b

Too much white stripz

2010-01-29T00:30:00.000-08:00

Yah so I did white strips tonight but i kept them in for like and hour and a half and like my bottom row of teeth are dying. everytime i toop a sip of beer i wanted to curl up into a ball and die. but its okay, i'm over it. like i can deal with this shit now. its really okay.

soooo i hate people. like i dont know why i think i like people. i seriously could live alone and not care. i mean, i usually shop alone, eat alone, sit alone in my room anyways. so whats the big deal. sometimes people just need to be a fucking lone, geez. honetly think its because i can't handle how people are. like i never knew people could be so annoying. like how they lie about shit or act around certain people. i just can't STAND people. i guess i grew up pretty much alone since my sisters graduated and lef before me, so i just was a lone or with my bff only all the time. does this sound sad or truthful? maybe both. i dont even wanna get started.

so its was pretty much a high school reunion tonight at bogies. not that i'm surprised i guess. but i pretended to be surprised and said hey anyways and then left. oh well. awk? maybe. also, my friend accidentlaly burned my hand with her god damn cigarette. ouch, like the fact that i can feel that now means i will be able to feel it fo sho tomorrow morning. hey. soooooooooooooooooo.

<( ._. )> (^._. )> (>._.)> haha its a kirby motion chart. cool huh:? not to be lame but i think its pretty cool. ps. instead of getting water in a normal sized cup i got it in a mini cup. cool huh? yeah i thought so.

love everyone.

b

also i saw sooo many people i stalk on facebook but don't actually know. i wanted to tell them i know about their lives but i refrained from being creepy, thank god.

made it alive.

2010-01-13T00:40:00.000-08:00

drove home to the westbank bestbank and i;m still alive/not in jail so thats a good sign. went out with megan sheephard tonight which is a testament to how desperate i was to find someone to go out with me. literally haven't spoken to her since like high school (ok so i spoke to her more rcently then that, but we're not like LEGIT friends) and but i guess she's cool. she's nice, i mean, she agreed to go out with me like wtf. hahaha its not like we're bff. but anyways, it ended being a high school reunion, BIG SURPRISE.

honestly if i hadn't gone to high school with these boyz i might wanna talk to them, but its WEIRD that i went to school with them for four years and we're like not friends. haha oh well, maybe like 10 years from now at our high school reunion (like the official one, not that random shit at the bars) i will be able to talk to them and not feel awkward. or maybe it will be even more awkward. whatever i look forward to it.

megan was trying to hook up with this guy that is clearly a womanizer (we both actually know him so i'm not just being judgey) even though she was bashing him earlier. its bc she has like low self esteem or something, but actually i was wishing she would go home with him so i wouldn't have tt drive her home, but she ended up trying to be "hard to get" and went home anyways. and by home i mean i drove her to another girls house (who i also know from high school, who bleaches her hair and i totally disapprove of it because it looks fucking orange and i constantly think, uhhh has NO ONE told you it looks unattractive?)>

but i'm home now so that's cool. yaa and i even got a cup of water from downstairs to drink and i washed my face and brushed my teeth. i'm on my game, man. i even stopped drinking when i knew i needed to stop drinking. I'M THE PICTURE OF SELF CONTROL!

btwlove yall

this is me.
ya trick ya

i'm not mexican

2010-01-11T01:09:00.000-08:00

went out with my camp friends tnight and they brought their two guy friends, owen and matt, both marines. both looked like they were NOT military boyz, but hey whatevs maybe they do look like it i just couldn't tell. matt was cute but bumble has dibs on his, obvi since she was ALL over him like leaning on him and shit. i was just trying to talk to him, like a normal person with conversation, and everytime we would talk about something new, she's zoom in and be like "WHAT? WHAT????? WHAT?" haha so sad and desperate.

oh well. we got cheese freies tonight but i was too drunk to realize i
m not actually hugngry................. what a wastew of cheese fries.
the plam of my hand hurts, like i've been hitting things with it. but i haven't what's up wit dat shiet.

i'm thirsty for water.

water? whater?
helllllooo???? whater??? WHAT0ER?

yes, im in a sorority

2009-12-12T00:52:00.000-08:00

so i met up with twizzler and bee tonight, girls i used to work with at a summer camp. we went to JLs bc it was fress drinks tonight. HOWEVER, i came late because i 1. woke up at 5 pm 2. went shopping with some friends and c. went out to dinner. it was a mediocre bar night. i mean, the bar was crowded , i just wasnt with my usual friends and i didnthave as much fun bc i feltuncomfortabke dancing. yaknow??? also twizz brought her guyfriend chris. i thought he wascute at first but then i saw his teeth and theywere CRROOOKKED....lynda made the astute point that some people donthave mojney for braces--she's so considerate and smart (i know you're reading this lynnda) andactualy i probs wouldnt behating on him if he hadnt said (and lynda, this has nothing to do with my opinon on him, this actually was why i hate him now!), ONTHE RIDE HOME, "youre in a sorority? thats gay". i'msorry, WHAT? that is so offensive. I can understand if you don't like sorority girls, BUT THAT IS SO RUDE TO SAY THAT. he was in the marines, thats like saying, youre in the military? gay. like< im sorry, BUT PLEASE dont insult the organizations i put all my time and effort into.

and please don't tell me its different because they're fighting for our country. Okay, yes i apprecaite that they fight in open warfare (ps in a war that we really don't even need to be in, period) however, they join of their own free will and accord, just like any other club organization including a sorority/fraternity, and they get more benefits than i will ever get from joining a sorority. its just fucking rude to judge OPENLY TO THEIR FACE judge the organization they have decided to join. ugh, it really grinds my gears. and...he got kicked out of the marines, so wtfever. oh, you got kicked out of the marines? that's gay.

so anyways also today i went to anthroplogie with iceberg and izzy and i spent like. more money than i should've spent. and the cash resgiester was like saying that the sweater iw as buying was really cute and i told her i bought it bc it was perfect for the plan ride when i go out of the country this christms and she was like "ommmgg you're going to france this christmas? my and my family have gone these past three years in a row" (only being friendly after she saw the sweater i was buying...beofrehand shew as being such a BITCH) and i was likk.e.....oh wow, cool.....and then she started talkijng about the major sales they have in france during that time, likee totally designer sales and she was like "yeah i bought my whole luggage set there! i bought the damier set for just 12,000 dollars!" ........and for thsoe of you who don't know, damier is a style oflouis vuitton. yeah, 12,000 is cheap for luis vuitton, but for a chasier at anthro/? yeah, youre parents paid for that, you dumb bitch. just a shocker that this skinny blonde girl working retail would own a full louisvuitton luggage collection. i'm sorry, that was meant to be purchased by self made CEOs and celebrities, not dumb spoiled bitches like you. once again, i probably wouldn't be judging her so harshly if she hadn't been such a bitchy sales associate.

yeah so i'm going to france. hopefully i'll be drunk on wine everyday. and also speaking of french, i got a b in french class this semester (thats good bc i was scared i was gonna get a c)...WOOOOO that means a guarantere of no c's this smserte because taht was the only calss i was worried about getitng a c in.

okay good night. i finished all the chees ritzbitz so now its time for bed.

LOVE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy holidayz

drunk hiccups

2009-11-25T00:50:00.000-08:00

okay im so drunk that everytime i feel drunk i usy hiccccuo, okay im drunk>??? mayebe? maybe not? i jjust hiccup for everything its miserable. iiii wish i wasnt allergic to anything esepcially not awkward moments. icajt ebvn breathe realllllt without being unfair. oh goshhhhh this suck.s.. immmm soooooo sober slash so drank and sob erat the same time

ok.

so i can't stop hisvuppinh, is that a sign tosh hit the fuck up and stop typing>>>>?? uest this iswhat the public is sayign:

"get the fuck offline and sleep you moghinerrr fucker."

oaay i love everyone,

love,

louisiana

oh, you're on the rugby team?

2009-11-22T01:05:00.000-08:00

okay so we went to mellow mushroom tonight for the rugby team party. my make up/hair was lookin good according to outside sources (aka lynda) which is good bc i saw sadie tonight, aka my former formal date. he was an asshole, as expected, and talked to me for about 5 minutes then said "hey i'm going inside i'll see ya later" and then i literally saw him in the exact spot talking to some other girl, like maybe 1 minute later. No, literally, i walked away for one minute then decided i wanted to go inside, walked back and crossed the place where we were talking and there he was. which if fine, you don't have to lie to me though you could just say okay well nice talking to you see you later. its fine though, in the end i win because 1. he's indian and 2. his nose is BIGGER than india and 3. he was wearing a graphic tee tonight. really embarassing for him.

anyways, i got a little aggravated bc i drove to mellow and so i therefor expected to be responsible for everyone in my car. but two of the people in my car were drunk (well not drunk, maybe just had had something to drink fosho) and they didn't think about it and just left without telling me, so i was surfing through the very crowded mellow looking for them and then finally a lot of time later found out they left. i was just frustrated but totes over it now....thats how kind of typical my night was that i have to blog about that shit....

would've blogged last nght, but i was so drunk that i woke up on the downstairs couch with a slanket (aka an off-brand snuggie) draped over me and my full face of make up from the night before. good night, except that is spent soooo much fucking money. I AM BROKE!

love ya
b

honky tonk bedonk adonk

2009-11-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

okay soooo everythinkfs moving super fast like the speed of light. everytime i feel this i rhink of how nothing mattttters,

and then i think abour exes ndhow they suck.

qducky ducky quck quck barbaharharhahrarharharahra[

we;;ree awkwart and we know it. ebeyerone is upset with me being ANNOYING AND I KNOW IT//////////
WHY is this happynign WHYll??? immjust so tired andi love onion strings, meee

okkkkkkkkkkk mmmmmhh*? happpyyyyo
'
;
;;;mYBE

i owe amy a handle of whiskey

2009-11-13T01:25:00.000-08:00

i wasn't gonna go out tonight, i swear. iw as just gonna stay home, be the designateed driver who picks erryone up, and then go to bed early for the sake of my skin (which is breaking out, and by the way i did my ENTIRE face hygiene regiment which is extensive i will have you know, and i did it all hopefull to God's satisfaction). i am breakkkiinngg out. i swear to go if i get one more zit, i'm slashing someone's eyez out.

not lying.
aye aye aye captain. AY YIYIYIYIIYI! bahahaa

okay so we went to shady's and or bogies. actually everyone went to shadys and then i snuck into bogeis to avoid paying cover, but then i left again and went back to shadys and then we left. i felt like every girl in shadys was annoying. fucking sorority girls. wanted to punch every girl that pushed me out the way and didn't say excuse me. BITCHES, THE ENTIRE TIME I'M WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD, I'M JUST REPEATING "EXCUSE ME" OVER AND OVER AGAIN EVEN IF IM NOT EVEN TOUCHING ANYONE. ugghh people are just so rude sometimes.

hey, girl, just because you're wearing that gay costume from your exchange doesn't make you cool, go home and put one some real clothes. oooooh cool you were just at an exchange with BOYS. LIEK OOHHHHEMGEEE!!

i will try to not be negative.

loljk, that's a stupid promise.

okay thyme (like the herb) for bed nightttt

b

ps. happy birthday cici

fight, fight, fight!

2009-11-08T01:07:00.000-08:00

tonight the sue johanson's played at mike's bar, pretty legit. lynda, me and liza were in the front by the stage, and surrounded by douchebags. behind us, stereotypically smelly indians (like, seriously a gigantic group of them) and in front of us frat boyz and their hoes blocking our vision. all in all, an enjoyably violent position we were in. liza kept elbowing and shoving into people to prove a point. thumbs up for that, i love sticking it to the man.

oh shit, before the sue joe's we were at ellie's apartment (she wasn't there, we were just using her apt....not joking, wish i was cause then it wouldn't sound so ridiculous) just drinking. ALL DAY. like, at noon. we were drinking. the alabama/lsu game was today, it was depressing. jarrett lee is a disgrace, as usual. i actually feel really bad for him because i'm sure everyone he knows must hate him. would hate to be him in the locker room after the game. or on the football team in general, geez, HOW DEPRESSING. its sucky enough just watching it on tv.

fucking saban.

trying not to be bitter. anyways, then we went to mikes. we started out with like a group of ten, and then me lynda and liza realized we were alone at the bar. the rest of them all went to pluckers, a restaurant open late, and we met them there. and this asshole in the table across from us kept saying incoherant drunken words, like yelling in the restaurant. soo,...i may have provoked him a little by saying "you're in public...shhhh" like...maybe a few times. he called me a chinese bitch and i FLIPPED MY SHIT...hahah may have yelled in public. like called him a pasty white boy...probably a few other mean things (like racist) that i can't remember cause i'm pretty sure i was close to anger blackout (and drunk so im sure that doesn't help memory retention). the waiter told the guys at the table they had to chill out and so that ended the fight. pretty lefit, the entire staff was entertained, i'm sure.

enventful end to an eventful day.

lynda took patron shotz because her mom is sue and her brotha hooked her up with dat good shiet.

good times, man. good times......can;t wait to wake up tomorrow and remember that i indieeed washed my face tonight. DID MY WHOLE ROUTINE!! can't wait to shower....

i love being clean......

TTYL
B

tonight was the definition of a cluster fuck

2009-11-06T00:51:00.000-08:00

okay so before i forget, i washed my face and put on night cream. YEAAAHHH so when i wake up i know i'm gonna be like "SHIET, DID I WASH MY FACE?" and then i'll read this shit and be like. YEAH I DID. har har har. i havea french in class essay tomorrow sooo...i need to get up for dat shiet. ya trick yaa..

tonight was wild. we went to JL's first bc we were suppsoed to have an exchange with lambda chi tonight but it got canceled...but they kept the bar rented out so we went anyways (and said hi to the only lambda chi any of us know....) and then we left and went to shady.s they were tryign to charge me 5 dollars though, but they already put the marks on my hand, so i just ducked out and went across teh street to meet ym friends, aka i dind't pay shit. IN YO FACE MELLLOOWWW MUSHROOM.

then i tried to go bak to shadys but i couldn't find anyone and then i went back to mellow, found tay and he brough tme back to his arpt and i hung out with him, brennan, and their frined joey. i can't remember what we did or what we watch---wait, jk we watched family guy. and i ate zapp's voodoo chips, which i bought but left at their house. tay brought me back to the sorority house and now here i am typung. har har harhahrahrharhahrahrah

okay. so my eyes sare sore...like oranges sometimes.

miss yall it was an unterestng night

b

camp whispering pinezzz

2009-10-30T00:32:00.000-07:00

okay so i went to brighside bar to visit with old coworkers that i met at a summer camp. theyre pretty cool. i am DRUNKKKK and out t all on someone elses tab im not htat knightly. okay?

im just drunk. its a real effort to tye right now i won't lie. tye as in type. using keys.

so i texted this guy tonight that i was talking to kinda sorta aka not at all. and he didnt text me back. and that is the END of anything. i feel bad for guys that make one mist ake bc we wont ever talk again. too bad you had your chance. im too good for you or anyone to be mistreated. also i that woul also explain why im single.

bc im a bitch.

oh well.
do i look sorr yabtou it? bc im not eget o er it.

thats probably unintelligable but im too lazy to go fix it. oh well.
hey i like eggs and lard, what? what/?? watTT????

so maybe i have a few drankz

2009-10-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

okay. so maybe i had a few drankz. whats it to ya? huh? huh?

it was game day. wonderful day. wonderful. sid's parents came in town and had a tailgate, which was AWESOME. there were so much luxurious food and free alcohol i didn't know what to do with myself. also, we won then game, and then after (aka we left during half time because it was obvious we were winning) we went to serrano's, a restaurant/bar that everyone goes to after games. it was a good time. i had two margaritas (which are very strong) and for some reason, amelio bought use shots so i took that. so i may or may not be drunk, i don;t know. its weird bc usually during games i sober up and get a headache. not today....i think i just had THAT much to drink that i didn't ever sober up?

so. yeah also despite my drunkenness, i still had the foresight to go to my cafeworld application on facebook and make sure my dishes weren't rotting. and if you don't know what i'm talking about, join cafe world. its fun.

i would talk about other stuff that happened today but to be completely and totally honest, i can't really remember very much....i can't only remember the gist of what i did which is very unfortunate.

oh well.

i know i had a good time, i remember that?

love ya
b'

ps sorry this is boring

i just ate sooo much chiken

2009-10-17T01:35:00.001-07:00

and i don;'t care. ya know why> beaucase tonight was semi formal and i DIDN'T HAVEA FUCKING DATE. AND YA KNOW WHAT> ITS BETTA DAT WEIGH (LOL @SPELLING) BC I DIDN'T HAVE TO WERRY BOUT EATING ALL NIGHT OR TALKING TO PEOPLE OR DANCING WITH ANYONE. i could dance by myself, which i did so don't you dare judge me, and not worry about entertaining a guest. i mean, yeah , sure i can say this bc i dont have anyone impt in my life to bring ot these things and havea good time with, so i wiill say tht, but its true.so deal. ok?

ummm so sid brought us to get cane's chiccken eeennnnnn tonight and laura b. gave me an extra chicken finger bc she was full so i had FOUR STRiIPSSS. wwtffffffff im gonna wake up tomorrrow and be 1000000 lbs like that phi mu girl thats likea size 1 million that i see on campus all the time (mean, or honest? can't decide).

ummmmmmmmmmm sooooo also i decded that FUCK MOTHA FUCKAZ IMA LIVE MAH LIFE DA WAY I LIVE IT AIITES?!

peace motha fucka
love,
b

american girl dolls

2009-09-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

soooo went to ella's apt to drink tonight. we did it, we drank. it was pretty wild. actually, i had a natty while i was doing homework (oh, so hardcore, natty light).

that was pretty much the night....we're actually grandmas. i did hw and they played gin rummy, which i joined later to watch (no to play bc i suck at that game). actually first we watched that show with those people...uhhh the hills and the city (not laguna beach like i was about to type). i gotta say, for an annoying bitch, kristin cavallarri is pretty. and thats tough cause if you're an annoying piece of shit, you usually look more like shit just bc i don't like you. but she's like legit pretty.

anyways, then we went to taco bell and i got a mexican pizza, which i forgot to ask no beans on since i hate beans but i always assume people hate them too but everyone loves beans for some reason so i always get them on accident. ugghh i hate beans. disgusting.

but the pizza was okay still since i was kinda drunk eating it so i couldnt really tell as much. still good. mmmmmmmmmmmm. beans. BEANZZZ.

oh yeah and my frin revealed she got engaged today. WHAT. THE. FUCK. like, seriously, we are old enough where people i know will get married? so confused about that. but happy for them.
BUT STILL, WHAT THE FFOOOOOK. fook.

good night.
b

i have there huge black ex's on my hands.

2009-09-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

okay. so i have HUGE BLACK EXE S ON MY HANDS. ummmm it would only be more obvious that i was unver 21 if i took a mega phone and screamed "OH MY GOSH I'M UNDER 21." hhaaaaa but ya, that didn;t happened. we went to bogies' tonight, and i had too much to drink obviously,,,,.....btw i just went back and corrected all (or most) of my grammar/spelling mistakes. you can't understand how long it took to write that sentence even.

YOU CAN;T EVEN KNOW.

ok. so i made out with my grub date. and not i'm a fool. BECAUSE I DID THAT SHIT, I'M A FOOL. sorry, i mean to be an emotionallessssss ppiece of shit but i always end up having feelings and shit. and its weird.

soooooooooo i ate a pizza bagel...but instead of putting it in a toaster oven or microwave..i put it in the toaster. BAHAHAHAHAH toooooo crazy, i cant beileve it fit. TOO FUCKING CFAZY. RIHG???T?? RIGHT?? just say right, mother fucker. JUST SAY IT.
bahhaah jk. i know it doesn't matter f you say it or not.

hi.

hi?

hi....
hi!!!!

all the different punctuation just happened. uyeahl.sdasda yeah. be jealous.

love yall
b

BLLLAAHHHH BLAH....exchanges are fun

2009-09-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

ssigma nu exchange tonight. its not on until its neon. i wore lots and lots of neon tonight. i don't know how much i spent exactly on neon shit, but i'm sure it was more than what was worth it. oh well. i was glowing tonight. we had our exchange at zippy's, restaurant/bar BUT THEY WERE BEING FUCKING LAME AND NOT TURNING UP THE MUUUSSIIICCCC. i went to the bar a few times and pretended i was having convos with people and was like "MAN THIS FUCKING SUCKS, IT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER WITH SOME MUSIC". apparently the bitch bartending said it was bc we were in a residential neighborhood, but that's actually a piece of bullshit bc we're by acme oyster house, a street light intersection, other businesses......

FUCKING LIAR!! oh well. i still had a good time. although at these exchanges, almost all the guys are pledges so its not like i want to talk to any of them. cause they're like babies. wahhh. that's what they say the whole time.

i'm drunk. but i was mad bc no one would take me to get wendy's. it's actually a longer story but i'm too lazy to type it. let's just say that in the end, i finally got wendy's and it made me really happy and i ate it all. i got chicken nuggets, a small fries, and a chicken sandwich. i only ate half of the sandwich though and gave the other half to liza bc she was hungry still. she's cool. coo colllll. watch this i'm gonna try to type with my eyes closed:

hey my name is lizzie i'm freaking drunk what's the fuck up dawwwjjj!!!! wooooooooo. hey so i'm hungry still kinda but not really cause i had wendy's jeee jeee jee/ o
, fpmma stp[ n....

can't even tell what the end of that says. PATHETICCCCC. my room mate is not here. BIG SURPRISE!! she's such a secret agent all the time..

love ya.
b

i hate everything.

2009-09-07T23:24:00.000-07:00

I'm so fucking pissed right now, I can't even write anything down without wanting to cry.

love,
B

aggravation is not a usual emotion

2009-09-04T01:17:00.000-07:00

i'm sooooo aggravted right now. two things happened tonight that annoyed teh crap out of me:

1. my ride was called before i was ready and i wasn't told before the ride was physically there to pcik us up

and 2. i was dancing with some guy and then he started dancing with my friend.

i won't even get into race issues right now because my computer is on the brink of death and i'm just not into talking about it but i'm just soo annoyed. especially since i fosho look good tonigtht its like WHAT THE FUCK.

WHY THE FUCK AM I UNDATEABLE APPARENTLY, BUT DISGUSTING CHEESY GIRLS ARE OKAY TO ASK ON DATES. sorry, but that's not okay.

tonight, some boy was trying to double play me and z's friend alexa. he was like hitting on her, but then later on he was trying to make out with some other girl, but by the end of the night he was trying to talk to alexa again. ,, excuse me? sorry, but she's not your last resort. he didn't even offer to buy her food, and btw he was hitting on her at the end of the night AT A FOOD BOOTH. EXCUSE ME? so me and z were like..."are you buying her food?" and he was like" sorry i can't" but then he ordered liek two things of fries. so obviously you can. so we stole one of his fries and ate it all. yeah i hope he gets hit by a car. please don't try to use my friend as a back up, because first of all, you're short, second of all, you have a huge fucking mole on your face, 3rd of all you're not good enough for someone who's BLIND and 5th of all she can do better.

I HONESTLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GIRLS WHO ARE PRETTY AND HAVE A GOOD PERSONALITY SETTLE FOR GUYS THAT ARE MEDIOCRE TO UNATTTRACTIVE WITH DOUCHBAG PERSONALITIES. WHICH have been about 80% of the guys i've ever met.

i hate everything.

just kidding, i love alcohol and myself.

love,
b

p.s. hopefully i won't be hateful and aggravated when i wake up tomorrow.

504EVVVAAA

2009-08-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

OKAY SO I DECIDED I'M GONNA WRITE IN CAPS THIS ENTIRE POST FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT. !!!!!!!!!!

AND I ALSO DECIDED....I'M NEVER FUNNY WHEN I'M DRUNK. I JUST GET MORE SERIOUS. SO. DO I ACTUALLY SOBER UP WHEN I'M DRUNK? MAY SEEM LIKE A CONTRADICTION. BUT ITS NOT. BUT MAYBE IT IS. EH? EH? EH? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

DUDE, EVERYTIME I SAID FUCK TONIGHT, WHICH WAS NOT OFTEN, BTW, SIMPLY USED FOR EMPHASIS IN A SENTENCE, I WAS TOLD "WHHHOOAAA, LANGUAGE!" BY A BOY, NO LESS. YES, BOYS. TONIGHT WAS THE KAPPA SIG EXCHANGE SO I WAS FORCED TO MINGLE. NOT GONNA LIE THOUGH, THE DRUNKER I GET, THE MORE BOYS I TALK TO. I TALKED TO A LOT OF PLEDGES TONIGHT ABOUT USELESS CRAP AND I WILL PROBS NEVER MEET THIS GUYS AGAIN. THE THEME WAS GRAFITTI SO EVERYONE WORE A WHITE SHIRT AND GOT WRITTEN ON. EVERYTIME I WAS ASKED FOR A PHONE NUMBER, I WROTE ON THEIR SHIRT "KAREN" AND A FAKE NUMBER, USUALLY A HYBRID OF MY HOME PHONE AND MY PARENTS CELL PHONES. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE, BOYS. I KNOW THEY'LL NEVER CALL THE NUMBERS, WHAT KIND OF DESPERATE ASSHOLE DOES THAT. ITS JUST FOR SOUVENIRS SAKE TO HAVE PHONE NUMBERS ON YOUR SHIRT.

ANYWAYS, SAW MY AQUAINTANCE JACOB. HE WAS IN MY FIRST AND SECOND LEVEL FRENCH CLASS. WE DON'T HAVE FRENCH TOGETHER THIS SEMESTER, AND I TOLD HIM MY TEACHER WAS FLAMBOYANTLY GAY, WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE LAUGHED ABOUT AND BONDED OVER. HOWEVER, INSTEAD HE SAID "GAY PEOPLE MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE, I DON'T LIKE THEM. DO YOU LIKE THEM?" WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY? YES I LOVE GAY MEN? INSTEAD I JUST SAID "UHHHHHHH" AND THEN TALKED TO SOMEONE ELSE, I'M PRETTY SURE.

HEY I'M ABOUT TO LOOK SOMETHING UP, HOLD ON.
NEVERMIND I COULDN'T FIND IT. HOW ANNOYING IS THIS, HAVING EVERYTHING IN CAPS?

BEARITY SAYS SSHE HATES IT AND CAN BARELY READ IT. I TOLD BEARITY, BITCH, YOU CAN'T EVEN READ IN THE FIRST PLACE ,I NEVER SENT YOU TO SCHOOL!!!!

I HAD TO CONVINCE MY FRIEND EM THAT BOYS ARE NOOOOTTT WORTH IT, ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE IN THETA XI. SPEAKING OF THETA XI, MY LITTLE BRO FROM HIGH SCHOOL PLEDGED THERE. EMBURRASSING SINCE ALL THETA XI'S ARE ASSHOLES, BUT I LOVE THAT KID SO I'M GONNA PRETEND I LIKE THEM.

I WONDER IF THETA XI'S ASSHOLES ARE BIGGER THAN THEIR VAGINA HOLES. IF THEY ARE, I BET THEY;RE HUUUGGEE CAUSE I MEAN, THEIR VAGINA HOLES ARE PRETTY STRETCHED OUT SINCE THEY'RE ALL SO SLUTTY AND USUALLY GET RAPED BY ALL THE OTHER FRATERNITIES. I'M NOT BITTER, I JUST LIKE TO TELL THE TRUTH. HOPEFULLY MY LITTLE BRO WON'T TURN INTO A HUGE DOUCHEBAG.

OKAY I'M DONE WITH WRITING IN CAPS, THIS SHIT IS RIDICULOUS.

LOVE
B

DDRRRRAAANNNKKK

2009-08-24T23:50:00.000-07:00

sooo
its boy bid night
aka when al the frats party because they just accepted all their pledges.
my little bro from highs chool just pledge theta xi,,,but we went thurr and he was not there. accoding to sources he was taken home. i saw the boy i used to hook up with which wwas somehwat awkward, but we left qucikly. we also went to sigma nu, sig ep, and some other frat parties...we went to phi psi first. eprsonally, i think we shouldve stayed whever we were first for the ewhole night, but i wasn't driving soi was not in charge. i like our nw members. they're fun.

i am really drunk righ tnow we heated up my leftovers from chilis. chicken crispers and fries. def not cooked enough cause i ate some fries and they were disgusting.

the chicken was okay though. i tried to keep track of everyone tongiht but it just did not work out,

sad.

i neeed to close my eyer desperately.
good night.

b

rush is over. finally.

2009-08-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

so rush has ended. just camp from the post-pref party. it was fun i guess only because i was drunk. not drunk, per say but def over the line of tipsy. aggravated though bc i drove home with mya, sidney, and meg and they all kept treating me like i was drunk and telling me to shut the fuck up, which i do not appreciate. i may be drunk, but it is SO obnoxious when someone talks to me in a patronizing way, as if just because i've had some drinks i can't understand you. ugh. whatever, it's just annoying because i like all of them and mya drove us home, so i'm grateful, but i just wish people wouldn't treat me like a fucking idiot.

anyways, also tonight, some boy tricked me into thinking he was engaged. it was VERY elaborate lie, which i didn't believe but pretended to believe for the sake of conversation because i had nothing else to talk to them about and if i lied about believing them, at least i could be like "like ooohhh my gosh, you were lying? like ooohhh my gosh yall are soooo clever." okay, so maybe i sounded a little sarcastic, but if they didn't catch on, it's their own fault.

also, some delta chi boy kept trying to talk to me, but if i can recall the last delta chi party i went to and tried to talk to him at, he bluntly ignored me. so i talked to him and then said i had to go and walked away. sorry, but i'm 1. too good for YOU and 2. too good for your harley shirt. you can try harder than that, boo. the boat shoes and khaki pants were a nice try, but the hurley shirt really destroyed it.

MY ROOM MATE, MEG is once again ditching me for apartment slumber party. no, that's fine, i'm not offended (i'm offended).

SPEAKING OF OFFENDED, this guy, justin, who i see all the time and is friends with one of my sorority sisters, was like "hey do you remember me?" and i was like "yeah, justing right?" and of course i was right, bc why the fuck would i say his name if i didn't know it? if i couldn't remember i'd just try to find a way to figure it out through talking with him...anyways, he was like "yeah, you're asia, right?" ................i thought he was joking but he was dead serious. like when i told him it wasn't my name, he thought i was lying to. JUST BECAUSE I'M ASIAN DOES NOT MEAN MY NAME IS ASIAN, YOU ASSHOLE. sooooo i pretty much walked away from him pissed off.

okay, good night.
love you, lynda, cause i know you're reading this.
probs the only one reading this.
so this is for you.

B

my thighs are totally in shape

2009-08-12T00:46:00.000-07:00

okay so i keep mispelling stuff but i'm spbe renough to backspace it ...i keep trying to respelell tht estuff i misspell but then i will try to correct it and it won't work because i'm kinda drunk so i just give up. ya. that happebns. spellin "ya" took about 50 tries to be honest.

so it's rush week aka sorority recruitment week. i'm assitant recruitment chair. aka i stnad awkwardly next to the actual recruitment chair and try to chime in with suggestions to everyone, desperately hoping that i'mnot impedinf non the recruitment chhair's authorty. it's a pretty complicated position. like, seriously, it would just be easier if i were actual recruitment chair bc then i could just tell anyone what i think and what i want them to do because i'm the boss. but as the assistant, i have to wait for er approval and tread carefully....im surrised she even trusts me though with any tasks at all bc she can barely delegate any of her tasks bc of her mistrust of competence.

seriousy, i need tosleep.
in case you didn't know its rush workshop week and i'm exhausted.

good night
:)

B

ew, do you realize i'm only talking to you our of necessity?

2009-07-30T03:14:00.000-07:00

okay so

tonight me and D wanted to go out in new orleans tonight bc i felt like she really still hadn't really gone out yet...esp since when she goes out with the guys she always gets carded because they look so young and bouncers ALWAYS card guys and not girls. but anywaysss..... we went to one bar and saw fanny who had her stupid tulane friends with her. she's cool but she WOULD be the kind of grl to have lame friends with her. a lo and behold, we were clearly stating we had no stamp for the bar and her guyfriend who was 21, did not even offer, NOT EVEN ONCE, to buy us drinks even though we were clearly doling out cash. we figured things out on our on, of course. in the end, Lin my old room mate aka awesome friend of course made friends with the bartender at the next door bar and we stayed past 2 and its not 5 am. we got so many free drinks/shots. the only thing was the bartenders' frinds came in afterwards and they brought this guy, steven, who apparently though i was attractive and so they forced me onto him. aka, i was forced to talk to him, even though he was EXTREMELY socially awkward. like, seriously, they made it obvious he wanted to talk to me, so i even moved myself so he had a clear shot to move next to me and talk, and he didn';t. l;ike, if you have to get your friend first to talk to me, that's totally pussy of you. suck it up and talk to me. i knwo your nervous, but seriously. 25 years old? get over it.

i gav ehim my number but only as a desperate gate of escape. like, YES you have a fuckugn way to contact me again, NOW CAN FUCKING LEAVE? im not gonna lie though stay8ng at the var 3 hours after they close was pretty fucking fun.

i can't believe i'm wasted right now. those freaking free drinks.

every post is hereby dediated to lynda

2009-07-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

hi, yes i drank again today
i know, thats crazy. i wasnt going to especially since i woke up with a pounding headache and didnt get up til 3 pm...but everything is just better when youre drunk. went to my sister's friend's barbeque. man do they do barbeques different in brooklyn. it had the same basic stuff...alcohol and meat on a grill. but that is seriously the most plaid and skinny jeans ive ever seen. and men in jersey tanks...like, anywhere else that would be totally gay. but not in williamsburg.

so many artists.
wild.

i drank mike's hard lemonade and fucking smirnoff ice when they ran out of beer...that shit tastes like corn syrup and poo. and i also had like three hot dogs. im still hungry...

also, played a game of beer pong. i dont know what kind of beer pong they play here, but it was totally like. without rules. they were basically just throwing beer pong balls into cups indiscriminately. i felt like such a jack ass pointing out the different rules, and harold, my sister's husband, kept being like "MY LITTLE SIS, SHE GOES TO LSU, AND SHE'S 20 SO SHE KNOWS THE RULES OF BEER PONG!!!!" Hahahaha everyone was like, wtf...this girl is only 20?

brooklyn would be the perf place for Z to live, i feel. she's so hip...also, i think thats the most electro-indie music i've heard all consecutively. too hip for me. but a different kind of hip from L.A....like artsy hip. L.A. is like, hip just to be hip.

I NEED TO EAT THE FRIED RICE I JUST WARMED UP. LATER GATOR.
this one was for you, lynda

B

LYJJNNDA THIS IS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

OKAY SO 9i, in bookyn right now i just went to ps1, whoch was a public school turned art gallery. then we went to taxi beach (name?) it was a sandy beach in ny....but thers no beach in new york. so the mafia prettu mcuh RIPPED ,E PPED ME OFF MTHERFUCKERS/

VICTORY TOUR 1984 MICHAEL JACKSON--- MY BROTHER IN LAW.S FIRST CONCERT.

I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW

THAT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE BC THIS SHIT IS FOR LYNNa!!!! my one and lonly fan.

ok so today i was at my sisters apt and all her new models were there for a photo hoot. fuck ,y life they were so tall and pretty and refect DUCK THAT SHIT they were retty much prefcet except one of them complimented my dress and sheos but she was 14 yrs old so dpes that count as a real persons opinion? i dont know. all i know is that im drunk.

AND YOUR BEutiful. and i, slee[ing upstairs and hot air rises. so i hope i dont wak eip in a sweat. i

love you guys

youre beautiful.

H

mmm chips with cheese on them

2009-06-06T00:31:00.000-07:00

went oyut witth z tonight. she just made chips with chesse on them. sooo delicious.l mmmm. i came straight from cam/iserable btw...smidge sucked as camp director) so I'M EXHAUYSTED. saw bibster there. no surprise, he;s a totaly spooner. spponer, aka the spanish moon, omg saw passion pit there. they were soooo good. can iu just say i feel so drunk its ridiculous? l.ike i can barley type and im sooo hungry. I GOT THE LEAD SINGER FROM, PASSION PIT'S AUTOGRAPH. please be jealous trhanks. we also harasesdc them the whole time they were loading their tour bus.,...lol oh well. i love them. please .love m,e back. thanks. okay

lve

me

apparently we're not above the caterie

2009-05-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

sooo tonight was ellie's birthday, so we pregamed at mel's aprtarment and then ellie got SO drunk (at 11:30 pm)that she couldn't go out...but somrhow these guys that lived next door ended up over at mel's apt and one of the guys' friends' band was playing at the caterie, aka a arealllllyyy sketchy bar. soo...in our inebritateed state, we somehow endedu p there, after i put ellie to bed bc she was beyond the level of drunk in order to be in public, so...me and my roomie lynda were at the caterie for like 4 minutes when we realized we were NOOTOTTTT supposed to be there. like. seriously, do i look like i'm from new jersey and have my hair gelled in place? no thanks. we should've just gone to shady's...we're sooo dumb. i think we're dumb. i should've realized we were classier than those theta xi boys (talk about trash attack, i should've known better). never hang out with a theta xi boy becauyse he'll take you to the f-ing cateerie. EWWWW\

i have to get up at seven for girl scout camp.

"ITS OKAY GIRLS IM NOT DRUNK ANYMORE!!"
love you,
ps i have ot pnkuy sweaRE lkynnn..

love you

la poubelle

2009-05-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

hey
in los angeles
just hung out with niko, my old high school friend from when i went to school in los angeles...god he's so trendy. i always forget how trendy my l.a. friends are. we hung out at this french restaurant in a trendy part of town and i had some drinks with over- privileged upper class 20-somethings. i got a LOT of gin and tonics so i would be more open but geez drinks in hollywood are so fucking expensive...i spent like 40 bucks on 5 or 6 drinks. i'm drunk.

niko is such a strange friend. he's a good friend for sure. like he'll always call to hang out and he's not a flake, like he's willing to meet up, but he's always kind of awk at first. i guess that's how all friends are. anyways i got to meet some weird friends of his but then he ditched me for some other club. i thought he was gonna invite me, but he didn't so i just called my sister to pick me. i mean, i don't care that he didn't invite me its fine...to be honest i prefer to not go out, i just wanted to meet up with him cause he's my friend. he said he wanted to hang with me next weekend too, but you never know with these los angeles people...so pretentious.

los angeles makes me so...self aware. i miss it but don't.

i don't know where anything is

2009-05-02T01:19:00.000-07:00

okay, so let's start at the end of the night...i was outside talking to these sigma nus that came over to hang out with jenn and then i realized it was late so i went inside to sleep and....lynda and sid are nowhere to be found...and neither is my phone. i don't know how i'm going to wake up in the morning. fuck.

yeah, so that was fun talking to those guys outside randomly. we found out one of their vietnamese friends lied and told him that a word in vietnamese that realyl meant fish sauce meant "what's up"...haha when he told me what what's up was in vietnamese, i laughed really hard cause i knew it was fish sauce. sucks for him!

also, it was margie's (lol@the name) 21st birthday. we went to dinner, and then me lynda, sydnie, and amy went out with her for her birthday since everyone else pussyed out. it was actually really fun though cause we went to the sig ep house to pregame with her bf, and then went to bogies, again, which was not crowded and so we were allowed to be weird. also, amy told me i'm included in the good looking asian group, so i feel reassured about my physical well being.

i wonder where they are....

i wonder how i'm waking up at 7:30 in the morning....

so many questions.

also, i talked to sadie about my crazy texting and then lied to him and said i wasn't mad about anything (despite my texts that call him an asshole and say i'm offended) ...i am pretty sure he knows i'm lying though, cause you'd have to be retarded.

gotta lifeguard tomorrow so good night

love b
not my real name, like i accidentally did last night.

the bogmeister's

2009-05-01T00:26:00.000-07:00

went to bogie's tonight,
reltively fun. not there to dance with guys because thats uncomfortable, but not gonna lie every single guy is either a. dancing with some sorority girl or. b. gay.

just from personal experienjce.

also, lynda lied to the only two black giys in the entire bar and said it wasa mt birthday...(BITCH!) so one od the guys bought me a drink and then they kept on hovering by us all night. poor guys,they don't realize how judgemental all the girls in that entire building are...you're better off at reggies, i'm sorry. i really did feel bad for them but at the same time wish they would leave me alone...

ALSO, sadie texted me tonight asking why i was mad at him, bu ti assume he was drunk because he misepelled several words. and i don't respond to drunk pity meessages, sorry. wanna know why i'm mad? take some common sense pills and figure it out. assface.

also. i/m tirede adnw anna sleep and my eyes hurt.

i'm drunk.
wtf?

i love my friends.
b

diplo...pick it up slow, move it all around...etc?

2009-04-30T01:04:00.000-07:00

dear life,

hi. formal was saturday. slut made out with my date. oh, wait, she's a HUGE slut with low self esteem? why am i not surprised. as for my date...what the fuck? you would rather make out with a fat, pale girl with worse acne? i can see how that's attractive.

anyways, clearly our friendship is irreparable considering she hasn't approached me to apologize for being slutty and rude. oh well, looks like she has one less friend, and who cares since she's leaving anyways? thank GOD.

anyways, saw bibster at spanish moon tonight...me and z went to see diplo. AMAZING and so fun, although z fell off the stage while dancing which was funny for me and emburrassing for her. bibster was watching us all night-- slightly uncomfortable? esp considering his ex gf was dancing with us on stage. talk about awk.

but not at the same time since we both pretended we didn't se each other and pretended to be bff. hahahah gr8

i need water. lynda and sid picked us as in me and z up tonight ...they were waitinf the moment the music ended. XRAZY. prob cause they wanted to sleep...
wild.

but yweah, lynda thought ahead and got us water. aka pinnacle of my night.

i love them they are amazing . SO SMART TO THINK OF THAT.

p.s. i have finals ...SHIT. IHAVE A TEST TOMORRO? i just remmebered....fuck.

kill me plz?

thanks

ps what if someone pooped in your bed. wat would you do?

chicken for les

2009-04-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

canessss
okay we bought vhcicken. we as in me and lynda. so i had to hurry and write this aka she says i should take my time to say mythoughts

first of all. it was formal tonight
my date was sadie. he was cool...it feelt nice to be complimented by him and to be called adorable, but i mean at the same time he hit on anything that movied so.....cool.

also, amy one again has settled for SHIT. jamie, her love interest or whatever, treats her like a piece of shit. i honestly to be really really honest to god, trided to give him a chance, but he just continued to be a piece of aass hole. no surprise here, to be honest. and yet she still settles. she is so pretty and funnty, but for some reason she puts up with his shitty existence.

oksy. ssooooo
formal was overall good. sadie was a good date and i'm glad i'm drunk,
I NEED CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!

sabbath?

2009-04-20T01:14:00.000-07:00

okay so i never drink on sundays...not because i'm religious. bc i'm not. but...just cause its a weird day to drink. but today was songfest and i went to the after party...which was the people (not all even, just some) of the dancers...and then randoms like me. fuunnn. i met people and then we played card games like capt. dickhead and fuck the deal.

also i was washing my face tonight and i realized that doing that while i'm drunk feels the same everytime. but i just never remember how it feels while i'm sober...maybe thats why i get drunk ? to remember that unrecognizable feeling bc its just in human nature to seek out what you dont know?

i don't know
i'm drunk, maybe maybe not.
i didn't mean for this to happen. i need a boyfriend, or maybe just my best friend---diana? where are you...

i can't begin to remember what its even like to have her here, but when she gets here its like it goes back to what i was used to everyday, as if nothing even changed.

WHAT THE FUCK??? goingot sleep.

love
B

also, speakinf od blair waldord, i saw a rolling stone with her on the cover with blake lively licking an ice cream cone, and there's like ice cream all up in blair's mouth. UNATTRACTIVE,

asth-hole sig epths

2009-04-19T00:27:00.000-07:00

south of the border party tonight at the sig ep frat house. fun? okay, maybe a lot. only because i know more than one person there and then i feel like i'm the bomb cause i'm like "HHHEYYYYYYY WASSUP" like we're bff even though we're not.

one thing to say beofre i start fo real.
driml dsriml driml driml driml driml drmimlkd riml drjimldrmidrkdmrdmsoj.

man. i closed my eyes and tried to spell drunk...didn't spell it right even once.

anyways. first of all i DID in fact wash my face and put on face cream and took off my eye make up properly. JIC I forget in the morning.

also, this kid i met over spring break (aka i was gonna be his beer pong partner, forgot his name but eventually learned it, and then flaked out on the game to make sure amy was ok)...well i saw him at the party and i danced avec lui and then he bough tme a beer so then i was REALLY obligated to dance with him one more time...and then i peaced out. but then amy said she was styaing even though the band was done and then...well whatever i'm just worried about her life/personal safety.

i may have a date to formal. sadly enough missy is setting me up with one of her lafayette friends. wish i could do this shit on my own aka just ask people myself. like rocker boy? lol how weird and awk would that me. i would never unless he asked me to my own formal that he would have to creepily know about.

whatevs.

my eyes hurt because i literally had like 3 hours (prob less) of sleep last night and i didn't really nap all day. i wanna sleep.

LOVE
B

p.s. some bitch security guard at sig ep mad me throw away my FULL BEER ...even though i was only pointing the way to amy to the bathroom....i was PISSED. but i'm drunk NOW so what diff does it really make in the end.

april showers bring may flowerssss

2009-04-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

okay so its aprile..;...and though its not raining right now its STILL april and therefore its appropiate to have the blog title. ANYWAYS. lynda, amy, em, and i went to reggies 50 cent shot night to night... but as predicted, lynda, me and amy left at literally 12:30. em met upw ith her church friends who ended up being very crazy....i find the more shletered or religious or conservative you are...when you let loose at bars or whatveer shows how much pent up wild sexual tension you have. all her friends were like grinding and shit. it was awkward adn i won't lie...i was judging/making funt jhe whole time.

sooo i took a shower drunk. it was pretty amazing.

sorry i didn't blog over spring break. no one brought a computer. but rest assured i was drunk everyday...we missed out on about 7 blogs? crazy. i went home on the weekend though. i hate my old friends. i mean i love them, but i hate them because they/re inconsiderate adn don't think of others ever which reminds me of why i stopped hanging out with them as much.

sorority friends = best discovery ever...

sorry old friends. you just suck soemtimes...

also. lynda danced with a calculator tonight...don't ask...amy just had happened to have a calculator in her purse. weird? yes. but do you know me? why would i be good friends witha normal person, really? sounds so boring to be honest

man smells like updog in here. CLEAN UP YOUR POOP, BLEH GROSS.

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
i burped and it tasted like throw up., soryr tmi?

and a little bit of chicken fry...

2009-03-22T01:23:00.000-07:00

cold beer on a friday night? --that song was sang by the band at "sig ep softball afterpart"...lame that i put it in quotes. but yeah. some bitches got in stage as live participants (cowbell and tambourine) and the sucked. oh well. also, amaretto sour got spilled on me three times by drunken sig eps trying to dance. news flash, you look like a gay idiot, so stop swaying back and forth like that. you think that's straight dancing, but it's not. sorry. i sound like i'm in a bad mood, but really i'm not actually...just aggravated about some stuff. like 1) xtine slapped in the face. slapped as in, legitimately hit me in the face for LITERALLY no reason. she was so drunk she thought she slapped me bc i slapped her first, but really. no. she just slapped me bc she was soo fucking drunk. 2) i had to trick lynda to go to sleep. we went to the campus akon concert and she got sooo drunk that we left early and everyone i was with left me to walk with her alone bc they were all annoyed. i mean, i didn't mind bc i love that girl, i was just mad everyone had the nerve to leave me. but whatever. but THEN we got back to the house and she wouldn't go to sleep unless i did too. so i had to pretend to sleep until she did and then i snuck out and went to the sig ep thing....sorry lynda...you were just too drunk to go anywhere.

anyways. i likes the sig ep thing with the few exceptions. i read last time's entry and laughed becauae i was so drunk i don;t even remember typing it. this one i'll remember hopefully.

love ya
b.

p.s. in case i don't remember, i did in fact wash my face and put on face cream.

soooo CRAZY DRUK=NK I CAN;R CONTROL IT

2009-03-20T00:06:00.000-07:00

i know my title is incomprehensible. but its oaky.

so. i started out the night really unenthusiastic. because FUCK THE MALE SPECIES. and now i', just dtujnk. all the the time. i cried tonight already but in private. so its okay. bur i'm drunk, its okay. i HATE MEN, I HATE THEM,

i m perfect. why wou;dtn anyone date me. ebcauese i'm perfect> yeah duh. ok.

bogies is stupds,,,,

my best friend forever has repkace me with a new firl. fuck that, why am i replace in all aspects of my life?

snapshots of the night

2009-03-13T22:38:00.001-07:00

here are some snapshots of our convos of the night:

golden vibrator on my goldn birthday
"we bought penis lollipops"
i was licking between their balls
the car next to us was watchign us lick the tip
it WAS LIKE UUGNNMMM NO.
what was the love swing about?
it screwed into the cieling
it allowed for maximum movement
no. it moved for maximum PENETRATION.
it started off with "let's go buy kitty with a vibrator...i was like. how are we gonna fit this up kitty's vagina?"
she told us about her sexcapades-- they reenacted the lion king scene up...
he lifted her leg up and she just was like "LLIIOON KINNGG"
we're having crazy sex
kittyy, seriously, i don't even know WHERE her legs were
she was like "get him behind you..." but really, it wasn't awkward
i can't do that, cause like, i have a tilted uterus...

i'm tired of blogging and now i will be part of the convo. good bye. i love the world.

forty year wine-o's?

2009-03-13T22:27:00.001-07:00

okay we're at kitty's apartment...it's funny because forever i was like oohhh i'm not drinking tonight. and then my room mate sid was like...we're not going out, we're just drinking at kitty's...and i suddenly wanted to go out. does that make me an alcoholic that i just want to drink by myself? KITTY TELLING ME TO STOP BLOGGING. she sucks. "she is mean to me and she made a mean comment" -lynda, my other room mate. being quotes.

she's calling other people poo heads...I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THIS TALKING TO QUOTE. I CAN'T HANDLE QUOTING IT!!! CRAZY!!!!!!! kitty is laughing behind me right now...laughing. LIKE MY MOTHER.

okay so we were all sitting in kitty's living room drinking [boxed] wine and talking about life... like middle aged women. is this a flash forward to my future? shit. i mean, it's fun. hopefully i'll be THIS drunkenly fun when i'm older.

also, i want to talk about musician boy, but that's so typical of me. my life DOES NTO REVOLVE AROUND BOYS. i'm retarded. i'll fill you in anyways. he messagefdd me on fb (of his own accord)...and we talked about APPLE SNAILS last c lasss. hahhass that sounds sooo lame. maybe i won't be a cat lady spinster after all. or maybe i will and my lack of hope in the human race/kindess is totally legit. i wouldn't be surprised about my pessimissm being the total truth.

WHATEVS.

why am i a 50 year old woman?
and also, i lynda was moving around a lot, and i imagined in my mind that she was shuffling about iun a SLEEPING BAG...but i looked up and she was in a blanket. wtf. wtfffff.

and you know what? those 100 calorie packs are not enough food to survive on. just saying. i will gladly eat a fried meal instead. FUCK DIETS. FUCK IT.

btw when i go to the gym, i sometimes look for frat boy xyz because i know he's gonna be there. but wshatever. im there to be fit for spring break. but yeah. he has stopped tecting me, which is fine because i find that when i CANNOT text him and am unable to contact him, i literally don';t care. and this is just not just a product of me being desperate, its me being like...id on't think aboput him. maybe its all psychological? i thin kit is. because i didn't even think about writing about him til now. ... IT'S ALL IN MY MIND!!

let's just make shit up since everythign is in my mind anyways. purple dinosaurs? sure. why the fuck not.

love.
B

Unda dee influenzaa

2009-03-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

i don't know why the title of this blog was written ( because it was thought in) in a weird accent and with a disease instead of "influence." i know technically i am not drunk but this counts. hopefully you know what i <<*not yo name* is bothering me so i keep losing my train of thought>>. the vein on the left side of my neck...i can feel the blood running through it. it's soooo gross. like SERIOUSLY. i actually can constantly feel the blood in my body which is GRROOOSSS but when i drink (and am allergic) or when i'm UNDA DEE INFLUENNNZZAAA (y? y??) it is intensified. bloop.

311 is playing right now. stop being paranoid *not yo name*!!!! i think actually for a lot of this we're sitting in silence. i'm fine with that. ugh my neck. i'm hungry but i don't want to eat cause i'll over eat. but I LOVE BRIE!!! ~~~~ those squiggly things look funny. kind of gross. it ellicits the same reaction as "moist" but its not a word, its a sign!!!

cancer. sign. i wish i was an astrologer so i could always read my my stars. HUNGER FOR THE SALTY. SAAALLLTTYYY. I WANT MEAT. or brie.

throat hurts. i hate clearing my throat though because it feels scratchy and i don't wanna sound like weird...have you noticed there's a stigma against scratchy throats?

I wonder what thsi page would look like if i couldn't backspace and get rid of all my mistakes and just kept typing no matter what? it woouled (middle english) look CRAZZYYY. like youcouldn't read it. i wouldn't if that would be a cool art piece?

eh?
KAMIKAZES

so it hought of a really cool blog title earlier tonight but i can't remember it now...fuck my life. we'll just have to deal with this,

2009-03-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

SOOOOO tonight we went to 1) the last home gymnastics meet and 2) tim/brandon/michael's house tonight for a small house party. I say small because usually it ends up being no one but them and me and whoever else. But surprisingly, tonight, a lot of their work friends came...the first beer pong game i played was really spectacular. like. i made more cups that ever before. but we still lost. and after that i sucked really really bad. haha...oh well, as expected. i have never been a beer pong champ, why start now? anyways. fowler was there visiting...i mean, he brought john up with him from new orleans. i miss john on a daily basis, but fowler...he's obnoxious. i've never liked him. he makes inappropiate jokes, he's like 400 lbs, unattractives, and hits on anything that moves. Sorry, but you're gross and therefore its not okay that you made a racial slur. actually, its not okay for ANYONE to make a racial slur, but its even worse that you're gross and you think its okay for you to say anything remotely racist. like, you thought for even a second that you were attractive enough to pass off a really mean joke? sorry, no, you're actually DISGUSTING and barely anyone likes you. reality? yes. sorry if that makes you suicidal. that was my goal, actually.

so anyways. yeah. FUCK MEN. except brandon. me and lynda my roomie decided that my friend brandon needs to find a girlfriend. he's like really nice, and really cool, but he has just been too shy andsingle for like years. so he NEEDS to find a girl. and i want to set him up.

btw i was gossiping to my friend KT about my love life earlier today and Michael* (my ex boyfriend who i'm still friends with because we had a relationship in high school and i don't even really count that as a real relationship because high school is exempt from real life experiences) and he overheard me telling her about frat boy xyz and he was like all interested in hearing about me hooking up with other guys...haha BECAUSE HE HASN'T HOOKED UP WITH ANYONE SINCE US. is that bad that i take satisfaction in that? that he's sooo anti social ad awkward now but i am still normal and talk to people and get out into the world and flirt with other guys? is that okay? it think so. actually, that boosts my self-esteem SO much that i think i could not shower for months and still feel like a hot chick.

btw i had to burp but really i kind of threw up in my mouth. too much to drink? maybe. i feel like i've spelled a LOT right (aka almost everything) in this. maybe i'm getting good at this. because i know when i know i spelled something wrong, i back space all the way to correct, no matter how long it takes. like, these f-ing blogs take soooo long to complete.

ok, well, conclusion of the night: it doesn't matter how single i am at the end of the day, as long as i'm doing better than michael, my life is the best. hahaaaaa little bitch.

love

b.

live bands make it worthwhile

2009-03-07T00:56:00.000-08:00

okay myeyes hurt. cauase i'm tired and wanna sleep but i'm soo dedicated to blogging that this is happeneing first. okay first of all, me and z had to go to my firne'd house cause he was in town for the weekened...i was so aggravated caus ei wish i had known earler. so then we went to paddy murphy at SAE...and...i won't lie. i never knew there were so many attractive boys at SAE. i pretty much equated them with sig ep (aka awkward boys in high school that go cuter in college)...buy apparently i waws very wrong because i felt surrounded by cute boys togight. congrats SAE.

so yeah nothing very interesting happened tonight. i met some new girls? when i went to taylors house, my friend mike came in towna nd brought his girlfriend. she had blue hair. enough said. not to mention she kept wringing her hands the whole time and being VERY uncomfortable. she had never played beer pong and we excitedly invited her to play and she was like "oh no, i'll play later". okay, sweetie, in a situation like that you ACT excited and agree to play immediately. whatevs, she was just socially inept. its okay. that shit makes me feel like really social and popular or something even though i know i'm just normal. if you're mor awkward thanme, than props to you. hahaa....

i'm drunk again. shit. at least i can't feel the blood in my neck. i feel normal and just drunk. thank GOD. i hate being alergic. ok nightie night.

b.

land of free drankz

2009-03-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

(so i tried to post this last night, but the internet was being a fuck up and i was too drunk and impatient to try and make it work, so i wrote my thoughts in a word document instead so i could save it for the next day when i could soberly copy and paste it. As a result, many of my typos were auto-corrected and the full effect of my drunken state has been impeded upon...i'm sorry. at least there's something!!)

heyI’m wasted. In fact, I kind of feel sick, like I wanna throw up, but not really. Like I could but I won’t. ya know? I feel ya. But yeah. I’m allergic to alcohol, fo r those who don’t know, and it makes me feel the effects if I haven’t drank in a while. I haven’t had alcohol in a week and so early on, I could feel the blood running through my neck ( a side effect, which is VERY uncomfortable btw) until I calmed down…now I feel fine everything is fine. Ash* when to brind me to get cane;s, but only after we brought Kasey* home…it hers birthday and she was out of control drunk like, crying and shit. CRAZY. Oh well, I know people would take care of me while I’m that drunk so I don’ t mind.

Soo last time I was drunk I was shacking at frat boy xyz’shouse so I couldn’t blog…shameful? Maybe a little. But anyways, I shacked up at his apt and then he didn’t text me for a week….ok I know I should wait for HIM to text, but…I was dumb. So I texted him at like noon today to see how was he was and he responded. But when I asked him if he was going out to night he didn’t respond. So then tonight when I was drunk (of course) I was like “ I guess that’s a no” and then he made some bull shit response…..(this is the abridged version of our texting convo btw) then I apologized and was like “ok sorry I’ll never text you again” and he said “its cool”. Its cool? IT’S COOL? Okay ASSHOLE. Its NOT cool. Fucking text me back an apprpiate response. FUCK YOU. Ugh. Soo…I WAS upset about it for a little while. But then some friends talked to me about it and ya know what? I deleted his number from my phone. So I can’t text him and if he wants to fucking talk to me, he can make an effort, cause I won’t fucking know his number. Sorry, ass hole. I’m too good for you anyways. Ugh.

I was in the ssame discussion group as musician boy today. I honestly think he dislikes me, so I’m laying off. No more talking to you., sorry alternative boy, go date someone who wears skinny jeans and band tees. Not me. Haha, oh well. It saddens me to think no one will date me when I’m perfect. Missing out? Yes. Yes you are.

I can hear my next door neighbor throwing up right now. Its really a good sound to fall asleep to.

I would write more but my eyes hurt and I’m tired and drunk/.D RUNK. Ok? Ok. Good.

love ya
b.

peanut butter jelly time

2009-02-27T00:33:00.000-08:00

okay so some bitch put gum in my hair. UGH. went to bogie's bar tonight and some BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER put green gum in my hair. lorr* got it out though thank god with peanut butter...now my hair smells like peanut butter and fruit because i tried to wash it out since i was too lazy to take an actual shower. uuuugghhh. i wish i knew who put this gum in my hair because i would legitamitely fuck her face up. i know some people might laugh if they heard me say that cause they think i'm really nice and too small and petite to kill anyone, but if someone seriously pissed me off and if it was some sorority girl bitch i would seriously kill her and i am NOT afraid to fight someone. seriously? i'm certified in everything possible thing EVER and my dad taught me to fucking defend myself. uugghh I'M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW THAT SOMEONE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO PUT GUM IN MY FUCKING HAIR. UUUGGHHH.

okay anyways, besides that, i was so drunk tonight (maybe that would explain why i didn't notice a fat bitch putting gum in my hair) that i started CRYING at bogies...what the fuck. i literally haven't cried in...um forever? like maybe even more than a year. and yet i'm so f-ing drunk i cry in a public place...for literally no reason. emburrassing.

i keep getting whiffs of my peanut butter smelling hair. its disgusting.

i honestly want to get into a fight with whoever put gum in my hair. i bet i would kill her. sure, i would go to jail for killing someone, but wtf. it would teach mother fuckers to think twice about whether or not its okay to put shit in my hair.

i ate cane's...a kid's meal. i almost spelled kid as jud. i like cane's...i tried to diet today by eating a salad for dinner but of course i spoiled it by eating fried food..and fries.

hopefully my roomie and amy don't hate me for crying openly at bogies. maybe they will forget? also....xtine* disappeared tonight with ellie*.... where tf did they go? questiioonnnss.... x tine says she has never been mentioned in a blog before. i'm her first!!!!!!!

also....i'm sad. and happy. kind of like barney. he's sad but happy, right? yes. barney the purple dinosaur. OH MY GOSH. BTW I WORE HEELS TONIGHT TO BOGIES! and din't fall down. impressed? me too. they were fiiyyyaa...although i feel as though all the guys at bogies are already taken/talking to a girl already. not that i care cause usually i go off by myself an sit alone anyways. lol...i hate people i guess?

operation water: drink it.
once again i cannot think of something wiity to say... my horoscope said i was witty today with the right amt of sarcasmmm....i was pissed i ddin't get to talk to musician today, he jetted out of classed really fast. oh well, maybe in the next century when i decide he doesn't hate me and when he decides to stop being really awkward all teh time. maybe? who knows.

okay. i'm tired.
b.
NOT like f-ing blair waldorf.

like your bandana

2009-02-25T00:44:00.001-08:00

okay so i can't believe that i'm drunk right now. and the last few nights, i was semi sober...no. i'm drunk right now, let's just be honest. okay? yeah. so hopefully to nights thing will be really entertaining. so amy and ellie (add the astericks, please, cause thats not their real names) and they wanted me to take then out upt. well...i agree, but of course i forget its mardi gras day, when no one goes out and everyone sleeps cause they're tired from being drunk for four straight days...soo we go to the boot, and its empty. we stay for a while, but eventually, me and z decide its time to leave. but mistake. not only do we get lost, but when we end up at the bars, three of them are closed, and one of them is emptyy....

so we go to this guy's friends' apt, where he invited amy cause they......"talking." let's not bullshit, shall we? he;s an asshole. a big hole of ass. ok? i will not like cause seriously? i won't lie, i don;'t even remember what he was saying, but the whole time he would say smething i rememebr thinking to myself "what a douchebag".

okay so today me and z when on a crawfish GOOSE CHASE. crtazzzyyy., we endded up buying it from some asisn corner store....figures...asians are the only ones that open up shop in the midst of a holiday. FIGURESSS.. but the crawfish was good. ecept not as good as kp's parents.

ihad an epiphipany while i was in the car? first let me discalimer: i'm secretly rly bitter.
no one falls in love like in the songs and movies. no one. so get over it and just assume that every guy that wants to talk toyou is in it for one reason, and its not to find out your fave color and childhood playtime activity. get over it. your life will never sound like taylor swift's songs. get oovveerr it.

i'm watching fresh pricne....and i have rice waiting for me to eat.

i loveeeee ths craziness. i thkink to myself..."what a wonderful wooorlldd"

louis armstong anyone? plz?

do you want lotion? no i just want the pain to go away

2009-02-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

okay so my hand is realllyy dry and craklin like pigs feet anddd z* offered me lotion and i just want the pain to go away...no lotion. i actually hate lotoin because it makes me feel slimy. SLIMY. okay so we just came from orpheus, the last night parade of the mardi gras season (sad face) and...had a margarita ( a really strong one from superior grill) and we bought a 12 pk of bud light from kiwky mart...haha the indian lady like quizzed z on her birthday and address it was funny. the guy next to us was like "mann these girls look like 45 yrs old, come on lady!" haha it was funny cause we def look lik 12 years old. awesome.

yyayaa soooo we hung out with the high school crew for all night basically...they had huge speakers in th emiddle of st. charles street and we were dancin in the street til like at least an hour after the parade ended. then eventually the police came and were like...yall gotta leave...

then kp's* dad came and picked us up...lol hahaha not that weird since we were at her house earlier and her dad dropped us off..CRAWFISH BOIILL!! sooo good...not crayfish...CRAWFISH. represent that deep south okay?!?!? if only you could hear my voice righ tnow..... its ghetto faabbb. yayyayayaya sooo we as in z and me hung out with kp's parents for like 2 hours until i sobered up and could drive home...but they don't know that's why i hung out with them...

and then we got popeyes.

again. sooo much popeye's this season.

sooooo frat boy xyz texted me last night..."are you still in nola?" yes butthole, i live here. i want to kill him. i texted him "yeah" and don't plan to text him anymore. to be honest...i dont even rememebr what he looks like. what does he look like? i don't know, don't ask me, ask someone else.

and i drove home, but its okay...semi drunk driving is so much easier than i rememebr it. i used to do it all the time but ever since i joined the sorority there was no need...and i did it tonight and its so easy. i mean, if i hadn't sat with kp's parents for two hours to sober up a little, it would've been substantially harder. but its okayy...anyways.

TIME TO EAT MY POPEYES!!!~!!!##

love ya missss yaaaaa...(why would i mis syou? you're here all teh time...)
B.

bacchus is macchussss

2009-02-22T19:58:00.000-08:00

dunno what the title of this blog means i just thought of it. went to thot then bacchus today...started early which would explain my lack of complete sentences. had a HUGEEEE headache but sid* gave me some MEDICCCINNNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO. tylonel. woo. woow. woooooo. okay, so ya...beginngin of the day, while i was looking for lala* and sid* a float was passing by so i starting yellin fo some beeadds and this guy made eye contact with me and was holding a hand full of GLASS BEADS!!! And he was like...yeeaahh i know you want these and ima give em to ya. and sooo he threw them RIGHT TO ME. and...SOME BITCCHHH stepped in front of me and GRABBED THEM. we both had them in our hands at the same time, but i was like...whatever...a fight is not worth it. bitch thought she was doing me a favor and gave me one of the beads....ugh those beads were mine. I HATE HER.

anyways. now i'm sleeping at sid's. her friends from california are in town...its so fun to see them be amazed at everything. they didn't know the difference between gumbo, jambalaya, and etoufee...i mean, seriously, they're completely different things. they even laughed openly when they heard people say y'all...i mean....you're in the south. i would laugh if i DIDN'T hear that shit. but they're cool, if not soooo west coast.

so. i love bands. marching bands. no other types, just that. i wanna play the trombone but i'm untalented and useless in music. i would say i play piano..but how the hell are you supposed to lug that down teh street in a parade? you cannot. its useless. A USELESS SKILL. just like roller skating.

LOVE.
b.

p.s. the mouse pad looks like an oriental rug...hahahahah....love it.

strangers are friends too

2009-02-21T23:19:00.000-08:00

strangerrss...but not reaalllyy.. that's how i always feel whenever i go to functions that sid* my roomie is involved in. She hangs out with this group of people every so often but its the same group of people that hang out with the same groups of people everytime...and i've met them all several times, but not really...so its always really awk. cause i know you but i don't know you. i remeber your name, but do you remember mine? its always weird cause what do i do?....say hi like i'm excited or pretend that we've never met? i compromise instead and look really excited by opening my eyes really wide but not actually saying hi...if they don't make eye contact, it means they're avoiding knowing me...and if they do make eye contact, that means its okay to say hey. either way i end up looking psycho crazy with my eyes like that.

ssoooo Z* and i went out to the parades together, as usuall....but she brought em* along with her who we used to work with and lives in virginia. she's cool and all, but she was in such a grumpy mood all day i feel. we parked far away and had to walk really far, but i mean, that's expected...anywhere we parked would be far unless we got there at like 6 in the morning. but the whole time we were walking she was kind of complaining...and then later that night after the parade had ended all her (and z's) friends were downtown partying but i HATE downtown and i'm not really friends with all those other people? i wanted to go to this other party that i thought we were going to go to but we started walking down town anyway...my friend kp* said she would pick me up but i had to walk towards her away from traffic and em* didn't want to walk anymore and duyen didn't want me to walk alone though...i knew em would get mad so i told her to just let me walk alone even though i felt kind of uncomfortable walking alone....soooooo long story short, em whined and i ended up walking alone which was REALLLYY scary esp in downtown new orleans.

thank GOD kp picked me up. so we went to the party which was mediocre and i saw burt* there and bitched him out because he promised he'd pick me and z up when really he was LYING and just said that but had no intention of picking us up...i straight up bitched him out. i wish i had a bat to hit him with or a knife to cut him. i want to kill him. why didn't he just tell us he wasn't picking us up? we wouldn't have wasted so much time waiting for him. what a DOUCHEBAG. hey btw do you like how i keep cdapitalizing key words? i like it.

ssooo yeah everytimei write a blog i try to think of something funny to say but it just never happens...why am i so humorless when i'm drunk? itslike...i hav nothing funny to say.

oh my gosh, but just a worldly obsv....this world is SO small. everyone f-ing knows each other. just gotta say that. p.s. frat boy xyz pissed me off and i think i was a bitch to him. but i feel like that's a common theme. i was verryyy judgmental tonight. contrary to popular belief though i had a good time.

lllooovvvee yaaaa

B

greek gods are cruel

2009-02-20T22:39:00.000-08:00

okay, hellosssss

its the night of the parades morpheus and d'etat...i love mardi gras. we barelycaught anything but saw all our high school friends and got REALYYY drunk. okay. so here's how drunk i shouldn't be...i'm the designated driver. so this is what it think what happened: we walked like one hundred miles to this party on calhoun st. z knows about and the guys were HUGE DOUCHEBAGS (the guy throwing the party that duyen knew wasn't even thurr)...i think one of them asked me to watch their cig and it burned me so i dropped it on the floor so they wouldn't let me smoke the bowl so i got offended so we left...i felt bad for making z feel as if she should leave but i was seriously pissed. soooo...i think i called alex and he was in a diff city so he called his MOM and she came and picked us up. CRRAZZZYYYY!!!!! SSHHHIIIIIITTT..

yyaaa

ya so... no more musician guy and no more anyone else...i've decided to be emotionless and just be single forever since its futile for anyone to like me..EVER. forget thhthhattt!!!!!

who casres. who neeedss a significant other anyways. WHO CARESSSS I JUST NEED A PET DOG. thats IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and money. a pet dog and money. that's happiness.

and a phone charger cause my phones about to die....

miss ya loves ya blogt tomorow nights maybe??!?

HEART HEART
B

P.S. LONG LIVE FRANZIA!!

drunk texting

2009-02-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

thank god my drunk texting isn't that bad.
woke up this morning (vveerryyy dehydrated) and found a pleasant text from frat boy xyz:

"so you do anything with your bf today?"

classic.

THIS IS SPARTA.

2009-02-15T00:11:00.000-08:00

okay so its not reallly sparta...actually me ad z* actaully missed the parade. its mardi gras down here in the dirty dirty btw. dirty dirty as in louisiana new orleans. okay. so ...it hs been quite the interesting night. let's just say i'm drunk and thatis a good thing. oaksy sooooo ash* wanted to hook up with this guy so i tried to make him chug...ALL NIGHT. but actually he caught on and wouldn;t shug anymore...and i think h ethought i was flirting with him but actually i was tryig to make him amke out wiht ash.* ok so before even we went bar hopping we as in me and z* went to some sketchy partay...ON THE WANK. wank as in not the part of twon we wanna be in. yeah so all the guys were awkward and all teh girls were attractive bit obviously taking the free beer...but me and z* were just eating the cheeseballs and finger sandwiches and kingcake....mrs. wanker loved us. his momma....she wanted us to be her daughters. she loves us. okay. so. we barred hopped all night. and some.

some guy. pulled z'a hair and was like "you HAVE to dance with me" and she said. "no. i have to go to the atm wth b"....okay. so that was a lie . i mean. it was true. she went to the atm with me. but...it was right thurr. she coould've damced. if he wasn't so unattractive. trust me. he was not cute. not even romtely. DESPERARTEEEE. okay. so one more thing. me and z...(ses right next to me!) wanan say that ...

before we even went out.
we were...sitting in the car. alone with each other. drinking FRANZIA. aka, boxed wine (because we're cheap..ya understand?!) and we literally jsut drank. with eachother,., for like an hour...long lize the picadilly parking lot!!!

LOVE,
B....(&guest bloogeerr, Z*)

;love ya!

one mroe thing before i go to sleep.

name game

2009-02-14T01:33:00.000-08:00

okay.
so we went to lorr's* party tonight and it was kinda lame at first cause went we got there they needed to pick up another keg...but after we got the keg everything was okay. except that the keg was only spittin out foam....but i mean, i'm not gonna lie, me m* and a* were the lives of the party...we sarted the name game which is when you sing this chant everytime and you have a fake name...mine was "asian fuck". it had to end in fuck..the rhyme went "oohh...fuck you, this the fucking game..." actually i don't remember. nevermind...btw it took me soooo long to spell nevermind right.

okay. so here's my view on relatikonships. its actually VERY simple. if you like someone, and they like you,a nd you want to be together, you should fucking be together. and if you don't feel the same way about each other, you shouldn't be togehte.r very simply. right? rigfht.

together some guy named rob called me a bitch but then took it back after seeing me face. i think he only took it back because he sawe my expression. okay, i am not the kind of person to just that shit lightly.DO NOT CALL ME A BITCH. do not call me darlin, do not call me sweetheart. i have a name, and i will tell you i fyou ask me, asshole. i will not put up with that degrading shit. also we got onto the topic of voting and they assumed i voted for obama...which i did (is it that obvious?) but whatever. he is obvously gonna go better than bush (not hard) and i do not appreciate the assumptions even if they were right.

okay. and one more thing. the muscisian guy? i saw him in class and apologized...he said it was okay, i'm not sure if he was just sauying that cause he doesn't really know me...what if he was actualy upset i didn't show? okay anyways, i found out his name from the roll sheet and ilooked him up on fb and he recently changed his stats to single and is "about me" section which might mean he's expectying peple to look at his page. aka me.? ok I'M retarded. i justy live in this fantasy world where i am not single. sorry about this.

OKAY. SO MGMT is BLASTING right now. sorry that it is,

oaky so here is a joke. there;s am....nvm im tired..

LOVE YA!

B.

P.S. i told i would drunk blog tonight.

Practiced Drunk

2009-02-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

Sober while writing this cause last night I was too drunk to stay awake long enough.

However, I must say that I am becoming quite the accomplished drunk. I mean, while I did jump out of a moving car last night and sprint to the house...I also ate spaghetti and drank lots of water before bed and walked myself up the stairs all by myself! And I even changed myself into my PJs, took off all my jewelry and got myself into bed! All that and I didn't even remember.

So last night I tolerated mediocre/unattractive and socially awkward boys for the privilege of free drinks at a friend's house party. Among other notable occurrences, a girl stepped on my foot in the bathroom with her spiked heel and I yelled out very loudly and repeatedly "HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT"...there was a strange frat boy that made faces all night and called me darlin' (which I replied with, "Why are you calling me darlin'? What does that MEAN to me?!")...and a cop showed up to the house party.

Sorry this is sober. Next time I drink (which could very well be tonight...again, and DEF saturday...hellloooo, it's carnival season in the big N.O.!), I'll def post! Much funner that way.

Love,
B.

Welcome to Shotzz

2009-02-12T00:08:00.000-08:00

Heyyyy

okay so this idea came to me while I was on the can...I'm drunk. And I'm drunk all the time. And I think about things that I KNOW i don't remember in the morning so why not blog about them while I'm drunk so the next day I can see?

So here I am. Tuesday, a boy in my brit lit class *who i don't know the name of* invited me to see his band play at north gate tavern. I wanted to go because i secretly thought he was cute *but didn't tell anyone that because what if they came with and thought he was NOT cute?* plus i felt like i was blowing him off if i didn't go....but i didn't wanna go alone. so i went to LL's* instead with MD* and got pretty drunk...i kept asking to do more shots. so then we went to ngt and i went in but he wasn't there. ... great. tomorrow i have to apologize. but what if he is totally turned off by me now that i blew him off? which i didnt..i totz went to see if he was there only two hours or more later. GREAT. i'm such an a hole. he's pretty cute i have to admit i'm just kind ofembarrassed to be honest because he's not a fratty. UGH. I'M A WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING. AND I'M SINGLE SO WHAT DOES THAT SAY?

i need to die.

welcome to double vizion.

love,
B.

*names were abbrev.